4 Damaging Habits Of The Mind That Harm Your Relationships And Prevent You From Getting Ahead

January 17, 2019 17:45

Your personality is what defines your whole being and determines your thoughts and actions. But is it possible to change it in your adult years?

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READ ALSO: Excuse Me, Are You A Psycho? 10 Signs Of A Personality Disorder

Personality is often viewed as a constant that forms in childhood, solidifies in early adulthood, and remains relatively stable throughout your life (Some even say your zodiac sign influences it, including these negative sides). However, if there’s something about your personality and character that you don’t like and that prevents you from getting ahead, you can change it if you have enough will power, motivation, and the right approach!

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4 damaging psychological habits and how to get rid of them

Negative psychological habits can be as damaging as bad behavioral habits, such as nail biting or smoking. In fact, negative psychological habits can be even more harmful and harder to break.

Here are the four most common unhealthy habits of the mind and how to start changing them:

1. Getting hung up on mistakes

It’s normal to make mistakes from time to time. However, what isn’t normal is getting these mistakes stuck in your head and going over them again and again, telling yourself what a failure you are.

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A healthier way to view mistakes is to take them as valuable life experiences, analyze them, make conclusions, and move on. After all, your life doesn’t consist of failures – think about the things that are going right in your life and focus on them.

READ ALSO: 5 Signs Of A Strong Personality That You May Be Unaware Of

2. Self-deprecating thoughts when your self-esteem is already low

When your self-esteem is low, even the smallest failures and flaws become overblown in your imagination. This negative view is pretty far from reality, in most cases.


If you keep telling yourself that you’re not good enough and you deserve bad things that happen to you, such negative self-talk turns into a vicious cycle. What your self-esteem really needs is a realistic view and nurturing.

3. Pushing away people you like when you’re lonely

When you feel lonely, it’s easy to start blaming yourself for this feeling and become so scared of rejection that you start pushing away people you actually like and want to communicate with.

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Such behavior is absolutely counterproductive and certainly isn’t going to make you feel less lonely! It’s only going to deepen your depressed state. What you really need is to cast away your fear of rejection and being misunderstood and start building meaningful relationships with people you like.

4. Withdrawing from a relationship instead of fixing it

There are toxic people (these aren't always easy to spot!) and toxic relationship situations that you’re better off without. However, you shouldn’t just walk away from a relationship you value (be it the romance of friendship) without even trying to figure out what’s wrong with it and trying to fix whatever is wrong.

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If, say, you feel guilty, and the guilt makes you feel powerless to change anything in the relationship, try taking a different approach to repair it (= concrete actions instead of apologizing over and over again without doing anything). If the other person values the relationship just as you do, they’ll be receptive to your steps and do their own part to help the process.

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Of course, fixing the negative habits of your mind is easier said than done. Remember, these changes are a gradual process – they don’t happen overnight! Once you start taking steps in the right direction, you’ll see your life acquire new colors and your social relationships become more meaningful and fulfilling.

READ ALSO: Can Negative Emotions And Feelings Literally Kill You? How Anger, Sadness, Loneliness, And Stress Affect Your Health

The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.