The popular American actor Kristoff St. John, was mostly known for the role of Neil Winters on The Young and the Restless. Unfortunately, the star passed away on February 3rd, 2019, at the age of 52.
Several days before that tragic day, he mourned the loss of his son, who passed away several years ago. Kristoff St. John missed him a lot and never learned how to live without his son.
He felt guilty
His second wife, Mia St. John, says her ex-husband Kristoff felt guilty over losing their son. Moreover, he blamed himself for everything that happened with their child.
Mia St. John says there was one reason for such thoughts, and it is directly connected with the mental illness that their late son had. She was better equipped and could handle it somehow, but unfortunately, Kristoff didn’t have a lot of information about the son’s health condition.
He was very depressed and drinking a lot. He could not cope with the guilt that he had of our son’s death. He felt very responsible because our son had schizophrenia and Kristoff was bipolar. … I know he tried desperately to understand mental illness for our son’s sake but he was very frustrated. … I saw the signs in my son so I was better equipped for it. Kristoff didn’t know much about it, which is why he didn’t handle his son’s illness very well. So he blamed himself for his death. Of course, we told him every day it was not his fault. But he just couldn’t live with it.
Mia St. John revealed that Kristoff also had some difficulties with the process of communication with the son and had some challenges while trying to raise him as a good person.
Kristoff was at times very hard on Julian. He wanted him to grow up, be a man and be tough. I was more like… he’s a mama’s boy. And I think that was one of the things he felt very guilty over. He felt like he was too hard on him. But it’s hard. We’re not given a manual when our kids are born like this is the right way to raise them. We just don’t know. It’s trial and error.
In another interview, Mia said Kristoff saw their late son before he passed away. He was very disoriented, and it seems he somehow saw Julian next to the door.
He said, ‘Julian is at the door I gotta get the door’
Mia St. John says her ex-husband Kristoff felt guilty over losing their son Julian, and there was a reason for such thoughts.