Man Seeks Advice As His Mother-In-Law Believes He Should Stay Away From His Baby And Follow The "Kingdom Nature"

November 7, 2019 15:14

It took centuries for humankind to bring equality between women and men. Some people believe the natural order of the ecosystem is the best for the world and its sustenance. However, there are certain things that needed to be evolved too.

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If we look at gender roles, society had long assigned them before anyone could decide for themselves. A man is supposed to be a bread-winner while a woman should be a homemaker. However, with the dawn of new times, one person can have many attributes. A husband can work and raise kids and a wife can take care of the house along with the office.

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The toxic mother-in-law

A man shared his family's story on Reddit. He is a new dad who just welcomed a baby girl and feels the happiest he's ever been. But, there is a hitch, his mother-in-law thinks he should not participate in his child's upbringing at all. When the father asked for a reason behind it, she said the idea of family is made up.

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The mother-in-law says:

Look at the animal kingdom! In most species, females are the ones who care for the cubs, not males. Males don’t care what’s happening to the cubs and even try to harm them. Humans are no different! I didn’t make it up, it’s just the way nature works!

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More to this bizarre mindset, she walked into the couple house strictly shunned the man. When the mother-in-law saw the girl's father holding her, she yelled:

You’re still here? Why are you here?

And then she went on to scold her daughter, saying:

Why are you allowing him to be here? Haven’t I taught you anything about living with men?

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The man further shared that the mother-in-law had never let her daughter meet her father. She had forbidden her dad from ever seeing her. His wife didn't bond with her other parent until she turned 16 and gained the right to do so. Mother-in-law problems can be so difficult to solve!

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The new dad is going through a dilemma. All he wants is to ward off his mother-in-law so that, she doesn't brainwash his daughter and make him a monster in her eyes. But, he considers it rude.

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The commentators' reaction


Wow, I'm sorry dude, hopefully you can keep her away with your wife agreeing to it. Keep on top of that postpartum depression and have your wife continue to check in with her doctor. My wife had postpartum anxiety which manifested as wanting to control everything, I didn't really notice until she would get mad about me singing to our son before bed, or where the little dishes go in a specific place that she had allegedly always put them in the dishwasher. It gets better, just keep helping as much as you can!


At first I thought you MIL was very old-fashioned. But there is something wrong with her. She has a pathological fear/hatred of men. I’m glad you made a stand so your daughter doesn’t learn her misandrist ways.


It’s like grandma got her parenting skills from a jungle book or NatGEO documentary. (not the children’s version).

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It is wise to clarify boundaries in relationships. There are certain symptoms of a toxic grandma. Her controlling attitude, apparent dismissal, despise, narcissism and simply grudge-holding behavior should be confronted with immediate communication.

Toxic grandmothers exist and they can be manipulative, controlling and self-serving. Toxic grandparents can do a lot of damage if not kept in check, so it is better to protect your family from such relatives.

Family Problems