Desperate Plea: 3-Year-Old Daughter Constantly Insists On Being A Boy. What Should The Frustrated Mom Do?

Modern concepts of education are very different from the ones adopted several decades ago. Gender stereotypes are being gradually erased, children are taught that they can be what they want, regardless of gender. Undoubtedly, encouraging girls to play sports and work in “male” industries is pretty fine. But what if they start to consider themselves the opposite sex?

Children tend to experiment with traditional roles and clothes. There is nothing wrong either with this or with a girl’s desire to call her by a male name and vice versa.

One worried mom shared her bitter experience. Her 3-year-old daughter began to consider herself a boy. She refuses to play with dolls, put on dresses, accept the color pink, wear long hair, and do anything that would a little girl would typically do. Moreover, she also insists on calling her John. The mother tried to explain that she was free to dress, play, and become anyone she wants while staying a girl. But the baby stubbornly insists that she is a boy.

Internet users tried hard to calm down the woman.

@Katie D:

She is just not interested in the adult gender stereotypes that are being imposed on her.

@emma r:

She's 3! My son loves pink & glitter but he's definitely a boy.

@Amanda B:

As long as your daughter is happy who cares what people think?

@Cara B:

My brother ended up getting his long golden hair cut short as a child because he was fed up of being mistaken for a girl. People often mistake my daughter for a boy because I don't like pink.

@Carol N:

I was like that as a child. Preferred train sets to dolls. I grew up to have three children and was a midwife for 30 odd years. I still like blue!

Another mother believed that children perceive their gender identity by the age of 2-3. She brought up an elder daughter without problems. But the woman confronted another issue – her twin sons turned out to be different when they were 1.5 years old: one considered himself a boy while another – a girl. When the boys were 3, Ben was raised as a boy, while Ryan was practically brought up a girl, preparing to do hormone therapy and surgery if necessary in the future.

Dress-up games and an alter ego aren’t necessarily signs of transgenderness. This happens if a child believes that parents wanted a child of the opposite sex, one of the siblings mocks another one, or there is simply no one to give the right example. Up to about 6 years old, children are sure that their gender can be changed. During this age, they learn and perceive the world. By this time, they often get bored with role experiments and prefer to look like what they have eventually chosen.

This becomes a real problem when a child feels unhappy and:

• changes clothes constantly, playing with “the wrong” toys;
• draws people only of the opposite sex;
• wants to be a boy (if a girl) or a girl (if a boy);
• doesn’t part with the wardrobe items of the opposite sex, feeling comfortable.

If you think something similar is happening in your family, you should be alerted if the child:

• has been under stress;
• has most likely been mocked;
• hasn't received enough attention and love from a parent of the same sex.

This behavior is fine if it passes with time. But if you are really worried about this, it is recommended to seek professional help and, most importantly, not aggravate the situation with criticism.

The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.