PSYCHOLOGY

Beloved Woman Or "Mommy": How To Know If You're Mothering Your Man?

June 17, 2019 17:26

In a good relationship, partners always take care of each other and try to make life more comfortable. As a rule, such behavior is more common for women. They surround their men with attention, doing little things every day to make them happy, such as keeping their shirts clean or preparing their favorite dishes. But they sometimes cross the fine line in their aspiration to please their man, turning into "second moms."

Pressmaster / Shutterstock.com

"What's wrong about caring?" you might ask.  It's bad because a woman risks becoming "too much" for the man and forming a totally different type of relationship. A "mommy"-woman knows what to do better than the man at all times. She presents herself as a more experienced, knowledgeable, and competent partner. Such a woman starts to influence the man's decisions, controlling him and gradually persuading him that she is the more "efficient" one in their relationship.

Just dance / Shutterstock.com

Over time, her partner "turns into" a kid and becomes more immature. Romance completely disappears from the relationship: it is now solely based on "taking care" of the man and "making him better." For instance, when it comes to innocuous bad habits, there's nothing wrong with that. But being overly caring makes the man feel like he isn't capable of deciding anything by himself anymore.

fizkes / Shutterstock.com

In such a family, the husband decides to just relax and go with the flow. He gets so used to not having to make any routine or important decisions that he stops paying attention both to the unnecessary advice and his wife generally. And he tries to escape "parental control" as often as possible. Quite often, the man's self-esteem plummets and he associates being at home with constant stress because of scolding and ever-growing demands. There's usually one result: he leaves the "mom" for a "wife" who becomes his new beloved woman.

Iakov Filimonov / Shutterstock.com

It's not the brightest future, is it? Do you want to check whether your relationship is under threat? Here are 15 signs pointing to the fact that you're a "mommy" and it's ruining your marriage.

Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock.com

  1. There is a "curfew" in your family – the "child" may be out only up to a particular time.
  2. You always find an excuse for his actions.
  3. The man has all the "toys" he could wish for.
  4. He allows himself to be impatient and demanding.
  5. You support him financially.
  6. He doesn't give gifts or pay you compliments anymore.
  7. You're constantly nagging at him.
  8. You only prepare his favorite dishes.
  9. He doesn't oppose your decisions and isn't willing to take part in decision-making discussions anymore.
  10. You do everything instead of him because "you know better."
  11. He started working late all the time.
  12. You jokingly call him your "child."
  13. You don't care about his friends and hobbies.
  14. When the two of you fight, he prefers to keep silent or leave.
  15. You give unsolicited advice on every occasion.

fizkes / Shutterstock.com

Men don't usually need a second mother. Most of them value their freedom and respect. And it's not that easy to turn back into his beloved woman, but, if it helps to save your relationship, then you should start making changes within yourself. You don't want your "child" to leave the "nest" one day, do you?


The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.