Whom Should You Put First: You Kid Or Your Husband?

June 7, 2019

Living surrounded by love, feeling that other people love you and giving it to others, is the foundation not only of a happy relationship as a couple, but also raising happy children. This is the conclusion made by David Code, American therapist and the author of the popular book on psychology, To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First. Therein, he takes a look at the link between the spouses' relationship and what kinds of kids they raise.

Africa Studio /

Most of us find the author's conclusions rather unusual. It turns out that partners should first and foremost pay attention to creating a perfect relationship between them, which means that their significant other should come first. Only then come children.

Stas Ponomarencko /

David Code debunks the myth that you should always focus on raising perfect children as per the standards imposed on us by society. According to the author, you can only have such children in a family where parents make each other their top priority and feel genuinely in love.

Oksana Kuzmina /

Only a happy couple can surround their child with unconditional love and show him or her that the best things in the world come from this state, giving the best results in career, health, and relationships with other people. Then, children grow up into calm, balanced, and successful adults. And in their personal life, they follow the same behavioral pattern. /

The same question – who should come first, the husband or the child – was brought up on one forum. A user's reply gave a perfect comparison.

Jonathan Roberts:

It's like they say on planes: put your own mask on first, then look after your child. Some parents make their kids the centre of their relationship, but this can lead to parents drifting apart or burning out.

Monkey Business Images /

What do you think about this? Which behavioral patterns have you formed in your family over the years?