Mothers often think that they're doing everything for the child's greater good. But while doing so, they might oppress their children, ruin their self-esteem, and set unnecessary boundaries for them. That being said, some of them don't have a slightest idea of how their behavior affects their child. Put it into perspective to get a better understanding of the situation and make sure you are not ruining another person's life with your "parenting."
Signs of a toxic mother
1. You criticize everything
You want your child to be the best. You think pointing out their mistakes and failures will help with that?
You are lazy, the drawing is too simple... If not me, who will tell you the truth?
You surely want your child to realize his or her mistakes. But constant criticism only knocks the self-esteem.
2. You invade their personal space
Every parent worries about their child, but sometimes it's too much. A "toxic mother" doesn't knock before entering the room, goes through her kid's stuff, eavesdrops. She decides who her son or daughter dates and makes friends with. The effects of such behavior can be abysmal.
3. You don't praise your children enough
You might be so afraid of spoiling the children with your praise that you hardly ever do it. You may be thinking:
"What if he starts to think he's perfect and will stop putting in the effort?"
But it's a scenario totally made up by you. It will most likely never happen. Don't stop praising your kids – they need the encouragement!
4. You think the child does everything to spite you
You might think that the child does everything out of spite:
He was born to spoil my life.
She stays out late just to make me worried.
He's bad at studies to test my patience.
Has it ever crossed your mind that there might be completely different reasons for that?
5. You compare your child to others
Mary's daughter is an A-student!
– you tell your girl to set a good example for her. However, children gain no desire to become better than others by these words. They are only assured once more that they are a loser.
6. You try to be your kid's friend
If you want to build a trustworthy relationship with your child, you don't have to be a cool friend to him/her. The child still needs to see your authority. A kid and a "cool mom" shouldn't be friends so that there's no competition between them.
7. You are manipulative
When you want to get your kid to do something, you manipulate. You cry, try to receive sympathy. You don't care about his/her feelings, plans, dreams. You only care about your own welfare.
We certainly want the best for our children. But sometimes when we do something for a good cause, it backfires. Have you noticed such signs in yourself?
The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.