LIFESTYLE

James Van Der Beek Gives A Powerful Message: Painful and Heartbreaking Miscarriages Are No One's Fault

Date September 21, 2018 17:27

It is said that you cannot truly sense anyone's pain until it happens to you. But people can always express to each other about the suffering. James Van Der Beek recently did so. He opened our eyes to the painful truth behind miscarriages.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by James Van Der Beek (@vanderjames) on

James' own way of parenting

Mr. Beek, the 41-year-old actor, has five kiddos with his beautiful wife Kimberly. He has maintained a unique harmony with his children and lets them be themselves. His bonding with them is adorable. Makes us melt!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by James Van Der Beek (@vanderjames) on

He is extremely playful, like when his daughter is hilariously trying to pick his nose. Check out below how A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E they look!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by James Van Der Beek (@vanderjames) on

Totally following him to get a peek at how open and honest he is about parenting on social media!

READ ALSO: Pink Shares Heartfelt Post Of Her Daughter Willow And Son Jameson

His powerful message about miscarriages

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by James Van Der Beek (@vanderjames) on

While sharing the photo of the newest addition, Annabel Leah, to his family, he talked about the past miscarriages he and his wife went through. He described it as something that tears you open like nothing else. 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Wanted to say a thing or two about miscarriages... of which we’ve had three over the years (including right before this little beauty). First off - we need a new word for it. “Mis-carriage”, in an insidious way, suggests fault for the mother - as if she dropped something, or failed to “carry.” From what I’ve learned, in all but the most obvious, extreme cases, it has nothing to do with anything the mother did or didn’t do. So let’s wipe all blame off the table before we even start. Second... it will tear you open like nothing else. It’s painful and it’s heartbreaking on levels deeper than you may have ever experienced. So don’t judge your grief, or try to rationalize your way around it. Let it flow in the waves in which it comes, and allow it it’s rightful space. And then... once you’re able... try to recognize the beauty in how you put yourself back together differently than you were before. Some changes we make proactively, some we make because the universe has smashed us, but either way, those changes can be gifts. Many couples become closer than ever before. Many parents realize a deeper desire for a child than ever before. And many, many, many couples go on to have happy, healthy, beautiful babies afterwards (and often very quickly afterwards - you’ve been warned 😍). I’ve heard some amazing metaphysical explanations for them, mostly centering around the idea that these little souls volunteer for this short journey for the benefit of the parents... but please share whatever may have given you peace or hope along the way... Along with a new word for this experience. #miscarriage #WeNeedANewName #MoreCommonThanYouHearAbout @vanderkimberly

A post shared by James Van Der Beek (@vanderjames) on

The overall experience becomes worse when people begin to point blame. Mostly the mother is told that it must be her fault. As if she dropped something, or failed to take care of her baby. He strongly insisted that it has nothing to do with anything the mother did or didn’t do. 

READ ALSO: James Van Der Beek Announced He Is Expecting Baby No. 5 In The Sweetest Way Ever

His opinion was agreed & appreciated

His followers came gushing towards his post, commenting on their similar views. Some consoled his grief while others shared their own painful and heart-breaking experiences.

@mramack77:

Wonderful words! We suffered through 5 miscarriages with the doctors just shaking their heads and saying I don't know why. Each time your heart rips open and you wonder if you can go on. You are blessed to naturally have a beautiful child. We were equally blessed with our beautiful son through adoption. Gods blessings on you and your path to the family.

@beautifulblessingways:

This speaks to my heart and is a big part of why Beautiful Blessingways was created. Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻

@sarahstanleyinspired:

Thank you so much for sharing. I too have a rainbow baby. Loss of a baby is difficult. 💕

His words really comfort and soothe the ones who have gone through it. Share and comment if you agree!

READ ALSO: What A Gift For Father's Day! James Van Der Beek And His Wife Kimberly Welcome Their Fifth Child

Art