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'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition Surgery

Date August 29, 2019 14:56

For a long time, Bruce Jenner was sort of in the background as the women in his life basked in worldwide fame thanks to the reality show Keeping Up With The Kardashian.

Then when she decided to transition into Caitlyn, she had the world's attention and curiosity.

Tough life as Bruce

In an interview with The Guardian, Caitlyn said that while she had no regrets about her life as Bruce, there were parts of it that she struggled with.

'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition Surgery'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition Surgery'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition Surgery'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition SurgeryGetty Images / Ideal Image

Even though she was married thrice, she confessed that all that, including her determination to succeed as an athlete, were a distraction from how she felt inside.

'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition Surgery'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition Surgery'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition Surgery'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition SurgeryGetty Images / Ideal Image

It took her a long time to not only understand why she felt different but to come to terms with what she needed to do.

"No more pain"

During an appearance on Channel 4 News, Caitlyn revealed that she contemplated suicide due to all the media attention she was receiving after she told the world about being a transgender.

'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition Surgery'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition Surgery'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition Surgery'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition SurgeryGetty Images / Ideal Image

She said there were a lot of stories written about her and she was being stalked by paparazzi. It became incredibly overwhelming. But she reached her breaking point when the cameras caught her just after she underwent a procedure.

Caitlyn said she was in Beverly Hills, coming out of the back entrance of a facility when someone took a photo of her getting into the car.

And actually, I just had my tracheal shaved. Early in the morning on a Sunday morning, I thought nobody was around. And I had a little bandage there.

Later on, TMZ contacted her to say they snapped a photo and wanted her to comment on her transition. She appealed to them not to publish the picture but she knew it would be released.

And that night, I remember I couldn’t sleep. And I’m walking up and down the halls in my house, all by myself. And I'm thinking to myself, ‘You know what? I’ve got a gun in the other room. I could go in, use it, no more pain, move on.

'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition Surgery'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition Surgery'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition Surgery'No More Pain': Caitlyn Jenner Confessed She Was Plagued With Suicidal Thoughts While Undergoing Transition SurgeryGetty Images / Ideal Image

Fortunately, Caitlyn didn't follow through on her suicidal thoughts. She instead chose to embrace who she really was and decided to share her story. Her goal became to help those who found themselves in similar low points and raise awareness for transgenders who struggle with mental health issues.

A happier Jenner

Following the transition, Caitlyn Jenner said she was much happier than she used to be. In a 2017 interview with Diana Sawyer, the reality star said she was more at peace with herself and didn't miss being Bruce.

Caitlyn has undergone many changes which can't have been easy. But the good news is that she's in a better place now.