PSYCHOLOGY

Yoga Mom Defends Uncovered Breastfeeding In Public After Her Own Parent Shames Her For Doing So

Date January 9, 2019

Breastfeeding in public places remains a controversial topic. More and more mothers are choosing to feed their babies openly when they go out, but the people aren’t always happy about it. Women who breastfeed in public often get called shameless and rude. Some people think uncovered breastfeeding counts as indecent exposure and women who practice it get a lot of flak from others.

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READ ALSO: Why Breastfeeding In Public Is OK, And How Celebrities Support Mothers Breastfeeding Their Babies

Kelly Stanley, a young mother and yoga practitioner, was shamed by her own parents for feeding her infant right at the table in a restaurant. The woman took to Instagram and wrote a lengthy response to all critics of public breastfeeding.

 

So. I was at dinner last night and, as always, had my baby with me. Maya (9 months) was getting irritable, and I knew what she needed. She needed to nurse, so of course I pull my shirt down to feed and comfort her. Some one at the dinner table then grabs one of those cloth napkins and tries to toss it over me. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was trying to cover me. We were at Bonefish, and apparently that is too "nice" of a restaurant to nurse a baby uncovered. I wish I could say I was polite and respectful about the situation. Actually, I lied. I don't wish that. I stood up for my right to feed my child and I'm glad I did. You know why? Because the gesture was humiliating. Because no woman should ever feel like she is being inappropriate or immodest by feeding her baby, anywhere, ever. Breastfeeding is NOT indecent exposure. It's not inviting men to gawk at my breasts. EVEN IF GOD FORBID THE BABY UNLATCHES AND THEY SEE MY BARE NIPPLE. No, I'd rather not pull my shirt down in a public place or a nice restaurant. I'd rather people NOT see my stretch marked breast or scratched nipples. But you know what? We can't sit here and tout that breast is best and then have a fit about how inappropriate it is to feed a baby in public. You can't expect women to WANT to breastfeed and then shew them to the car when their baby gets hungry, or expect them to let the baby wail in hunger or need. Babies are notorious for wanting to eat (or comfort) at the most inconvenient and AWKWARD times. And most of them hate to be covered! Breastfeeding is a normal and natural thing, and if someone has a problem with me feeding my child whenever and wherever, that is THEIR problem. It should NEVER be the breastfeeding mom's problem. They continued to say that I needed to be considerate of those who might be offended (men who sexualize breastfeeding )and I'm over here thinking it's the men who should be considerate and not sexualize breastfeeding. We need to stop making excuses for men and start expecting them to act like mature human beings who are capable of being in control of themselves. Grrr don't poke the mom bear...... . . . leggings by @omgiyoga

Публикация от Kelly Stanley (@kellymarie_yoga)

Kelly was having dinner with her parents at a restaurant. Her 9-months-old daughter, Maya, started acting up, and Kelly knew it was feeding time. So she gave her daughter the breast, right there at the table. Kelly’s father was appalled and threw a napkin at her, and the woman was infuriated at his act. She wrote on Instagram:

I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was trying to cover me. I went off on him and I’m glad I did. You know why? Because the gesture was humiliating. Because no woman should ever feel like she is being inappropriate or immodest by feeding her baby, anywhere, ever. Breastfeeding is NOT indecent exposure. It’s not inviting men to gawk at my breasts. EVEN IF GOD FORBID THE BABY UNLATCHES AND THEY SEE MY BARE NIPPLE.

READ ALSO: Canadian Hockey Playing Mom Judged For Breastfeeding In The Dressing Room

Kelly devoted a whole paragraph to the hypocrisy of urging women to feed their babies with breast milk, not the formula, and then shaming them for doing so in public:

We can't sit here and tout that breast is best and then have a fit about how inappropriate it is to feed a baby in public. You can't expect women to WANT to breastfeed and then shew them to the car when their baby gets hungry, or expect them to let the baby wail in hunger or need.

 

In the past week I've been called a whore, an exhibitionist, and an attention seeker for the stance I have taken on feeding my child in public. People have accused me of manipulating my child so that I can gain "5 seconds of fame." I'm not entirely sure what kind of place these accusations are coming from, but it seems to be coming from people with a lack of understanding on how breastfeeding works. You see, I am not trying to put on a show. I'm just trying to feed my child in a way that is comfortable for BOTH of us. I tried using a cover when Maya was younger, and she hated it. She would scream and yank the cover down. She was not about to eat a meal while her face was being smothered with a hot blanket. Honestly, I hated it too. I didn't like not being able to see her face and I found it awkward and uncomfortable. My goal is to empower moms to gain confidence feeding their child however THEY are most comfortable. If that means using a cover, by all means continue covering. However, many moms (myself included) find it difficult, inconvenient, and uncomfortable to use a cover. I want all of those moms to know that they aren't doing anything wrong by feeding their child freely. They're not immodest, indecent, or inconsiderate. They are simply good moms for feeding their child when their child is hungry, despite the fact that it puts themselves in a vulnerable situation. If you don't like it, it's quite simple to just look away. Might I suggest putting a cover over your own head so that you don't have to see it? I can assure you that it makes no difference to me whether my posts garner lots of attention or barely any at all. I love these pictures with my daughter and I will share them proudly. We've made it 9 months and counting.🎉 It's taken an immense amount of hard work and dedication to get this far in our journey, and if your reaction to that is anything less than congratulatory, then I can promise that it's not worth typing because I won't be discouraged by it one bit 😊👌🏼

Публикация от Kelly Stanley (@kellymarie_yoga)

In a separate post, Kelly explained why she breastfeeds without a cover. Her goal is not to seek attention, but to feed her young daughter in a way that is comfortable for both. Her baby doesn’t like to be covered when she feeds. The mother wrote:

You see, I am not trying to put on a show. I'm just trying to feed my child in a way that is comfortable for BOTH of us. I tried using a cover when Maya was younger, and she hated it. She would scream and yank the cover down. She was not about to eat a meal while her face was being smothered with a hot blanket. Honestly, I hated it too. I didn't like not being able to see her face and I found it awkward and uncomfortable.

Do you think the way women feed their babies should be up to mothers themselves or those around them? And should women cover themselves when breastfeeding? Share your opinion in the comments!

READ ALSO: Florida Mom Hits Back At Those Who Criticize Her For Breastfeeding In Public, And Her Epic Response Goes Viral

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