Daughter Shares A Heartbreaking Moment When Her Mom With Dementia Thought Her Own Mom Had Just Passed Away
August 16, 2018 16:21 By Fabiosa
The world of someone living with dementia is, in part, a mystery to people who aren’t affected by the condition. It’s hard to know how much memory a person still has, and you can’t know for certain what brings to life the memories that are still intact. And when events of the past do emerge from the person's vanishing memory, they may be so vivid as if they happened yesterday.
Woman with dementia though her mother had just died
When one Pennsylvania woman named Becky Gacono learned her mom had dementia, she decided to document the family’s experience with the disease on Facebook. She has been sharing their good and bad moments, and one of them is particularly poignant.
Becky’s sister, Marry Ann, brought some old photographs of their mom and her siblings and parents, and the family looked at them together. Next day, the mom was unusually quiet and sad. The family didn’t know what happened with her mood, but then her caregiver, Paige, told them that their mom thought her own mom had died (in fact, she passed away decades before that).
That evening, Becky and the rest of the family came by to comfort the mom and cheer her up a little bit. When Becky approached her mom to give her a hug and kiss, she said:
Did you know my mother died today? She died and no one cares. It was so sudden and unexpected.
The whole family was at a loss. They did their best to comfort and console the mom.
This moment was sad but also touching. Although the mom's memory is fading, some moments from her young years are still there.
Becky shared this bittersweet moment on Facebook:
Becky had written about appreciating things as they are and living in the present in the page info:
There are moments of sadness. Moments of loss. Moments of frustration. But there are so many more moments of happiness since we decided to seize the day with her. We know it’s going to get worse and there will come a time when the laughter will be less and the tears more, but for now, for today, we will celebrate our mom and appreciate the way she is loved by our dad. And we will do our best to make each day, another good day.
Becky and her family may not have much time left with the mom, but they are trying to make the most of it.
What is dementia?
Dementia is a broad term used to describe a progressive decline in memory, thinking, and reasoning. The most common type of dementia is Alzheimer’s disease.
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Dementia usually starts with slight memory problems which get worse as the disease progresses. In the final stages of dementia, a person loses the ability to speak coherently, recognize others, and eat, dress, bathe, use a restroom, and do other things on his or her own.
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According to WebMD, about half of eighty-somethings have some degree of dementia.
It’s not exactly clear what causes the condition in some people as they age. Once scientists get a better picture of how and why dementia develops, it will be possible to design better treatments for this disease.