Is It OK To Send Your Parents To A Nursing Home? 9 Tips On When It Is The Only Option

Date June 13, 2018

When we are children, we think our parents are to be forever with us. But then, we grow up and think we will never leave them despite living somewhere else. At first, they took care of us, but as the time passes by, they become the ones who need to be cared of. And that’s when the things get really tough, both mentally and physically.

Daisy Daisy /

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Things have to change

Sometimes, there is no choice other than putting your elderly parents in a nursing home. Yes, you may feel guilty of doing so, and that’s pretty understandable. However, in most cases, this decision is for their own good. Taking care of your parents can not only be extremely difficult for you but can actually also harm your parents or even put them at risk.

On the one hand, at some point, you can find yourself not being able to run your own things and drive to your parents almost every day to help them. On the other hand, you cannot be with them 24/7, and that means they might need immediate help when you are not around. These are the main reasons for anybody who is willing to help their parents to think about different options. /

What are the options?

You can have your parents move into your home, or live at theirs. This can only work if your personalities can blend and there’s lots of space to provide privacy for everyone. Otherwise, it will not work, don’t even think about it.

Another way of doing it is in-home agency help or adult day care. You will share the caregiving with somebody who is not a family member, and pay them money. Are you fine with that? Nonetheless, there will come the day when not even caregiver would handle your parents’ needs. And that’s when the only one choice is left. /

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Some helpful tips regarding nursing homes:

  1. Try making decisions together with your parents.
  2. It is important to maintain a “family and friends” schedule of visits once moved in. Build the atmosphere like it’s their old home.
  3. An understanding of the fact that the workers earn not much and do the job not many of us would want to, can help you build up good relationships with the manager and nursing staff, which are must-do.
  4. Try staying well-informed about your parents’ health condition.
  5. It is great if your nursing home allows installing a personal phone line.
  6. The best clothes for your parents are easy-care and easy-dress.
  7. Don’t feel guilty if you are not visiting them every day. Just remember to be available via at least mobile phone.
  8. The changeover is exhausting. Don't worry about wishing it would all end. Admit it and accept it. Don’t try to avoid reality, as it is extremely important for your sanity to live through all of it.
  9. If you feel you need help for yourself – ask for it. There’s nothing shameful in it. Find a specialist or a group of people to talk with.

Robert Kneschke /

The problems will occur either way. And sometimes, you will think that you’ve made the biggest mistake. But the sad truth is that there is no right decision because ultimately, the only thing that matters is that you are by their side. Let them know that.

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