Every psychologist would agree that the bond between a child and his mother is the strongest and most significant of any others. It forms not only emotionally but also physically – when the baby is growing inside the mother’s womb. Even many myths stress this connection and explain in the smallest details how it lives with us and determines our future. This woman was there for you because you were her priority number one, because you were her life.
It is almost impossible to prepare yourself for the inevitable horror of cracking soul and thousand knives cutting your heart. Yes… The loss of the mother is that painful, and unfortunately, almost every one of us will face it. This is how life works.
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How to cope with your grief?
During this unbelievably hard time, a person has to know and understand what’s going on with them. Otherwise, it is possible to get serious psychological trauma which can cause not only mental damage but also physical. These tips might help you to accept the situation and heal faster.
1. Allow yourself to feel different feelings.
A famous conception created by Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross suggests that people go through these five emotional stages after the loss of the loved-ones denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Although the pattern works in some cases, it doesn’t have to apply to you. There’s a whole spectrum of individual characteristics that determine your reactions to the loss. And most importantly, you should allow yourself to have them. If you are angry – be angry. If you want to cry – do it! Don’t hold the emotion within. Express them in talks with relatives or friends, through art and sport.
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2. Allow yourself to have bad days.
Sometimes days will be bearable, positive, ok, etc. And sometimes, you will be unable to do a thing because of how much you will miss her voice, smile, advise, hug, or just a usual feeling of her being available to answer your call any time.
3. Don’t put a time limit.
We all need a different amount of time to go through something especially hard like this. Some may need a week to feel better (they might only think so because of their denial), and others may need significantly more time. Don’t be hard on yourself no matter what.
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4. Remember your mother.
It may sound obvious, but the goal is to remember the good and the bad times. It is extremely hard to recall those ugly fights you’ve had together or broken promises, or walls of misunderstanding. There were times when you were wrong, and of course, there were times when she wasn’t right either. However, you should accept that nobody is perfect and remember her for everything.
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Try to catch those times when you want to laugh and smile again. Remember this feeling of returning joy and try to hold on to that. Stick to those reasons and find the new ones. Life goes on.
There’s always a risk of getting stuck in crisis and depression because of the trauma. Please, remember that there are people willing to help you cope with your grief. Also, remember that it is always a great idea to consult with a specialist that can provide you with information and support. You don’t have to get through this alone.
This article is solely for informational purposes. Do not self-diagnose or self-medicate, and in all cases consult a certified healthcare professional before using any information presented in the article. The editorial board does not guarantee any results and does not bear any responsibility for any harm that may result from using the information provided in the article.