LIFESTYLE & COMMUNITY

Bizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never Married

Date October 11, 2019 13:21

Grief can be a very tough process to cope with. When you lose someone you love, your reactions cannot always be expected. In fact, grief looks different in everyone but the hope is that, as time goes by, the pain becomes less devastating.

Bizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedBizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedBizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedBizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedMonkey Business Images / Shutterstock.com

If you have a loved one coping with grief, it's normal to worry about them. You want them to deal with the loss in a healthy way and you're concerned if their behavior suggests they are not coping properly. So one can easily understand this woman's debacle.

Coping or hiding?

A Reddit user shared a story about how her 24-year-old best friend, who she referred to as Elisa, was acting weird since the death of her husband.

Elisa was married to her high school sweetheart for two years before he was killed in a car crash. In the months that followed, Elisa's friend believed she began acting in a very odd way.

She never calls herself a widow, she only says she's not with her ex-boyfriend anymore. When referring to her late husband, she calls him her "ex".

Bizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedBizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedBizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedBizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedJoaquin Corbalan P / Shutterstock.com

The poster gave an example of when Elisa was approached by a young man who was flirting with her but even though Elisa wasn't interested, she told the guy that she would love to get married someday in a way that implied she had never been married.

The Reddit poster wrote:

She was deeply in love with her late husband and I'm not sure if she's dealing with her grief in a healthy way.

Bizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedBizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedBizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedBizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedAePatt Journey / Shutterstock.com

She also expressed concerns that Elisa had been working even harder than ever since her husband's death. She was worried about her best friend and desperately wanted to help as she had no idea if Elisa's reaction was normal.

Many users proposed different theories that could explain why the widow was acting the way she was. In general, they offered the possibility that Elisa simply didn't feel like announcing to everyone that her husband had died as she didn't want to relive the pain or raise more questions.

Bizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedBizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedBizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedBizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedAfrica Studio / Shutterstock.com

To her, it might be easier to say she had an ex-boyfriend rather than a dead husband.

Coping with the loss of a loves one

At the end of the day, the only way to deal with pain is to simply go through it rather than avoid it.

According to NHS, the process requires time and while dealing with it, ensure you open up to loved ones, allow yourself to feel sad, try to maintain a routine and make sure you take care of your health.

Bizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedBizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedBizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never MarriedBizarre Reaction Or Coping Mechanism? Woman Who Lost Husband In Car Accident Chooses To Pretend She Was Never Marriedloving husband comfort upset offended wifefizkes / Shutterstock.com

It can be devastating but you can survive. And if you do feel like you're drowning in the pain of it all, it may be a good idea to seek professional help.

Never let anyone make you feel guilty about how you choose to cope but you also mustn't let your mental and physical health take the back seat. As they say, 'this too shall pass.'