REAL LIFE

Woman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores Her

Date December 3, 2019 10:37

Many mother-in-law stories can leave the reader feeling quite confused as to why one person feels it's okay to make another's life so difficult.

When you hear enough of tales like this or perhaps, you're a victim of something similar, you may start to wonder, why do mothers-in-law cause problems? An interesting report by Aleteia sought to explain this by pointing out that a special bond exists between a mother and a son from childhood.

However, when he finally gets married, the mother may start to experience feelings of rejection and may subconsciously blame the wife for taking her son away which can quickly lead to tension.

Woman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores Herfizkes / Shutterstock.com

Family relationship strained as toxic mother-in-law causes a rift between a couple

One wife has taken to Reddit to talk about her overbearing mother-in-law and how she's causing major issues in her marriage. The poster said that her husband of 21 years was usually invited to his mother's house on Christmas Day but since she herself didn't get an invite, she was forced to spend the holidays alone.

Woman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerYanLev / Shutterstock.com

The wife described her mother-in-law as being "smothering" and said that they got into a quarrel five years prior which led to a feud between the ladies. The poster said she had tried to settle things by reaching out but her mother-in-law just wasn't interested in mending fences.

Since the fight five years ago, she has started demanding that my husband come home alone for the holiday. Sadly, this went on for a while, leaving me to spend multiple Christmas Days alone.

Woman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerSad christmas days for lonely woman at hometommaso79 / Shutterstock.com

She explained that her husband felt guilty about leaving her at home alone but he didn't want to confront his mother because he would be guilt-tripped for not spending the holidays with her.

Anytime he steps out of line (which can be as minor as not wanting to eat breakfast with her), it's a guilt trip about how she has failed as a mother if her only child wants to be away from her.

Woman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman feeling alone during christmas holidaytommaso79 / Shutterstock.com

The poster said she was "tired" of "eating crappy food" and spending the holidays on her own. She asked readers if they could advise her.

Comments and reactions

In general, people felt the poster's husband should step up.

@DocGrammercy12:

Your husband is failing you. If there is a dispute between his wife and his mother, unless you’re clearly wrong, he is supposed to side with you. Period. The fact that he has left you sitting alone on Christmas for five years is completely unacceptable and inexcusable. He’s just going to have to tell his mother that he’s choosing you. She can either make peace and actually hold to it, or she can spend the day alone.

Woman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores Herloving husband comfort upset offended wifefizkes / Shutterstock.com

@Jorojr:

After 21 years, it may be time to come to terms with the fact that you will always be #2 in your husband's life. It is seriously OK for you to be greedy with regard to his time - you married him.

@ChemoEngr:

You're a married couple, a package deal. Unless you both wanted to spend time apart over the holidays, of course, you'd see all your parents as a couple.

Woman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWor Sang Jun / Shutterstock.com

How to cope with mother-in-law problems

According to HerViewFromHome, an important tip for dealing with a toxic mother-in-law is to consider putting some distance between you two. If you feel you've done your best in a bid to keep the peace, then you may want to forgive her, accept the situation and protect your own mental sanity by taking some space.

Woman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerWoman Is Fed Up Of Spending Christmas Alone Every Year As Mother-In-Law Invites Just Her Husband For The Holidays And Ignores HerMotortion Films / Shutterstock.com

Having an annoying mother-in-law is no fun at all. Every day can feel like a battle. But the key is to remember that there's no rule that says your MiL has to like you for you to have a happy marriage. So it's okay to look out for yourself if she becomes too difficult to deal with.

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