REAL LIFE

Mom's Fury As Her Mother-In-Law Teaches Toddlers To Call Her "Mama" When The Parents Are Away: "She's Trying To Usurp My Role"

Date November 4, 2019 17:12

Relationship with your mother-in-law can be difficult and building boundaries is essential if you want to protect your family.

Boundaries are important in every family. Each person should know their role and be addressed as such. But there have been cases where grandparents, perhaps desperate to redo parenting over again, try to become more like a parental figure in their grandchild's life.

Mom's Fury As Her Mother-In-Law Teaches Toddlers To Call Her "Mama" When The Parents Are Away: "She's Trying To Usurp My Role"Mom's Fury As Her Mother-In-Law Teaches Toddlers To Call Her "Mama" When The Parents Are Away: "She's Trying To Usurp My Role"Mom's Fury As Her Mother-In-Law Teaches Toddlers To Call Her "Mama" When The Parents Are Away: "She's Trying To Usurp My Role"Koltsov / Shutterstock.com

These grandparents achieve this in a lot of different ways, for example, asking their grandkids to address them as they would their dad and mom, or forcefully asserting their own needs and ideas on the grandchild.

This can make everyone involved to be edgy and can lead to a whole lot of confusion, even for the child. So we can certainly understand where this mom is coming from.

Mom's Fury As Her Mother-In-Law Teaches Toddlers To Call Her "Mama" When The Parents Are Away: "She's Trying To Usurp My Role"Mom's Fury As Her Mother-In-Law Teaches Toddlers To Call Her "Mama" When The Parents Are Away: "She's Trying To Usurp My Role"Mom's Fury As Her Mother-In-Law Teaches Toddlers To Call Her "Mama" When The Parents Are Away: "She's Trying To Usurp My Role"fizkes / Shutterstock.com

Mother-in-law is ruining relationships

A mother shared on Reddit that toddlers were asked to call their grandmother "mama" while their parents were away on a 2-week trip, the mother said.

Obviously, the mom's mother-in-law was aware that the children already call their mother "mama" so it was clear that grandma might have some malicious motives.

The poster wanted to know:

Am I overreacting for being livid about this?

Mom's Fury As Her Mother-In-Law Teaches Toddlers To Call Her "Mama" When The Parents Are Away: "She's Trying To Usurp My Role"Mom's Fury As Her Mother-In-Law Teaches Toddlers To Call Her "Mama" When The Parents Are Away: "She's Trying To Usurp My Role"Mom's Fury As Her Mother-In-Law Teaches Toddlers To Call Her "Mama" When The Parents Are Away: "She's Trying To Usurp My Role"Monkey Business Images / Shutterstock.com

The mom went on to say that her mother-in-law's actions made her feel like the older woman was trying to take over her role as the children's mother. She added:

So this made me feel like she was trying to usurp my role as my kids’ Mama.

Mom's Fury As Her Mother-In-Law Teaches Toddlers To Call Her "Mama" When The Parents Are Away: "She's Trying To Usurp My Role"Mom's Fury As Her Mother-In-Law Teaches Toddlers To Call Her "Mama" When The Parents Are Away: "She's Trying To Usurp My Role"Roman Samborskyi / Shutterstock.com

A number of people who commented on the post agreed that grandma was in the wrong here.

@uniquegayle wrote:

You’re not overreacting. It’s a control thing. Teach them to call her grandma. Grandma first name is even better.

One commenter @Anomnomouse91 had pretty savage advice for the mother.

Yeah, I think “mama” just earned herself a timeout for however long it takes to teach the children to call her “Mrs. Lastname”. She’s the one who decided she didn’t want to be Grandma. Also, let your husband know that if he and his mother were out in public and people saw the children referring to him and her using parent titles, they’d just assume he’s into cougars. “Isn’t that silly (husband). Your mother wishes she carried and delivered your children and is trying to confuse them that she’s their mother!

@puffinprincess commented:

Your MIL not only disrespected you as a parent, she also probably confused your kids! That was 100% a power play on her part. You should be FURIOUS. Your husband should be seething.

Mom's Fury As Her Mother-In-Law Teaches Toddlers To Call Her "Mama" When The Parents Are Away: "She's Trying To Usurp My Role"Mom's Fury As Her Mother-In-Law Teaches Toddlers To Call Her "Mama" When The Parents Are Away: "She's Trying To Usurp My Role"Olesya Kuznetsova / Shutterstock.com

It's clearly important that the parents here need to set the required boundaries to ensure their children don't get mixed messages as to who's who in the family.

Some mothers-in-law may go too far, ruining relationships and even marriages. Do you know such mothers-in-law? Share your experience in comments!

Relationships