Patience Is The Key: 3 Common Reasons For Parents To Lose Temper
December 18, 2017 14:18 By Fabiosa
Children are completely unpredictable creatures. An adorable child may please his parents with good conduct and obedience and the next moment he may drive them insane. How often have you seen shouting mothers or fathers who were trying to make their child understand something, and have you ever been in their place? Raising one's voice is a natural expression of anger or fear manifesting itself as a protective reaction. Adults often use this verbal method of influencing and arguing in order to solve controversial and problematic situations. Very often, they turn this model of behavior into their attitude to the child. Little do people realize, however, that conversations with a raised voice negatively affect the developing psychology of the child.
Every time one of the parents raises their voice, the child realizes the parent's superiority and his own inferiority. As a result, he accumulates negative thoughts and feelings and becomes reserved and worried.
The reasons for such behavior are various, but these 3 are the ones that happen most frequently.
A protective and warning mechanism is on in case there is something threatening the life or security of the child. This reaction is natural and necessary - it draws attention to what might cause harm. Sometimes a scream is used in order to express anger or other complicated emotions, which is fundamentally wrong. If such situations the child might follow this mode of behavior and will subconsciously forbid himself from feeling fear and showing it to others.
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The physical and psychological superiority of an adult over a child is undeniable, that is why many parents use screaming for manipulation. Parents rarely realize that at such moments, their dominance is merely external. During moments of yelling, the emotional level of the parents becomes the same as that of the child with whom it's worth being more tolerant. There is also an opinion that this way the adult gets compensation for their own childhood offenses. As a result, the child considers manipulative scenes of behavior to be more effective and replaces honesty in relationships with them.
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We often shout in case of violation of boundaries and rules. But in most cases, parents forget to teach the child these very rules of behavior in time or to set boundaries that he shouldn't overstep for any reason. Parents shouldn't miss an opportunity to patiently explain and instead replace it with shouting. The result of this kind of behavior is predictably poor: the child realizes that he can protect himself only if he expresses verbal or physical aggression.
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It's always easier to shout than to talk calmly. This method can bewilder and even scare not only the child, but also the adult. Nevertheless, there are many methods of conveying the necessary information to the child without using such a radical method. Parents should be patient and ready to explain certain things at the right time, repeat them, if necessary, and be an example for their child. All this will be a foundation on which they can build a healthy relationship, prevent emerging conflicts, and take care of the child's psychological health.
The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.