14 Habits That Make People Unhappy And Easy Ways To Adopt A Better Attitude

Date December 19, 2017 12:10

We all evaluate happiness differently and strive for what we associate with this concept. Some people spend all their lives in pursuit of material wealth, some prefer a calm and balanced rhythm without excessive drama, some rush in search of an ideal love, and others are sure that they are condemned to never be satisfied with their fate.

Such people are slaves to somber thoughts and from time to time, they think that they are in a real depressive state, although that is far from being true. They simply made that situation a routine in their lives. Still, it's worth remembering that life is too short to be sad.

In fact, however, happiness is a choice for every person. The sensation of happiness comes and goes, but we are capable of making it stay. And getting rid of these 14 habits will be the first step towards achieving harmony.

1. Constant complaints

Sometimes, a person feels envy when looking at other people who are more successful and seem happy. This is exactly what makes them complain about their life and feel absolutely unsatisfied. However, it's worth understanding that what things seem to be and what they really are are completely different.

Everyone has ups and downs. Not all well-off people are healthy and loved, besides, there may be lots of skeletons in the closet along with that mask of eternal prosperity. Is there anything that you think will make you happy? Then, do something about it, change your profession, get a new job, end depressing relationships, and start perceiving yourself and your environment in a different way.

Don't waste your precious time on complaints, especially if you realize that sooner or later this will lead you into the company of similar people who are weak by nature. /

2. Living in debt.

We live in an utterly material world. Constant comparisons with others and the desire to be 'like everyone else' make us recklessly spend money and regret it afterward. Will the purchase of a car make you happy if it plunges you into a ten-year debt hole? Probably not.

The same is true about expensive technology and mobile devices, brand clothes and trips to fashionable resorts. People are different and you shouldn't try to catch up with everyone. In the end, you can look attractive and have a good vacation on a modest budget.

3. Regret and fear

Wise people say that it's wrong to regret anything and live with the burdens of the past. You can't turn back time, live this or that moment differently or correct mistakes. So, why keep on remembering what is already left behind? This habit blocks an optimistic perception of the future. Unhappy people are afraid of the future, and they can expect a hundredfold return.

4. Giving up a dream.

It's always easy to get into a routine, get up in the morning, go to work, come back home and sit in front of the TV after having had a snack and doing the daily household chores. But instead, why not focus your energy and talents on the achievement of a tangible goal? Doing this isn't that hard. Firstly, you should make a strategic plan with a certain deadline and take the first step, after which the rest will go smoothly.

5. Gossiping.

Gossiping is another manifestation of jealousy and envy, as well as a hidden desire to manipulate public opinion. Only unhappy people can descend to the level of discussing and often demonizing other people. Negative conversations won't improve anything. A happy person won't take part in them, as he is simply too busy perfecting his own life.

Irina1977 /

6. Hidden offenses

All of us have been offended by words or actions and most often it happens undeservingly (or at least we think so). If there is a chance to correct something, do it and let go of the situation. If there isn't a chance like that, then forget about it and move on. In the end, take a look at things in perspective and think about whether it will matter and be worth your attention in 5 years.

7. Isolation from society

Sometimes we avoid people because we feel unhappy. We prefer being alone at home and pitying ourselves. This is a huge mistake as communication, and the nature of it, defines our mood. At first, you'll have to literally force yourself to get out of the cage you made with your own hands. Don't want to talk to anyone? Then you can simply take a walk, read a book on the bench in a park or watch other people. This will distract you from gloomy thoughts.

8. The position of victim

It's important to realize and accept the fact that life is unfair to everyone in its own way. The philosophy of the victim is to go with the flow, surrender to new blows from fate, and look at everything with eyes full of eternal sorrow. This kind of behavior intensifies the sense of helplessness, the negative perception of your own self, and your attitude to the surrounding world.

You should think about whether there are really objective reasons you can't deal with this or that situation. Actually, there aren't any besides an unwillingness to change anything and a habit of thinking that you can't.

9. Exaggeration of the problem

Every person encounters unpleasant situations. The difference is that a happy person sees temporary difficulties and makes an effort to overcome them with dignity, while an unhappy person turns them into a tragedy. The first thing worth learning is the ability to be responsible for your actions and make good decisions. If you happen to be in such a situation, calm down, put all your emotions aside, take a step back, and concentrate on finding a way out.

10. Lack of hugs and laughter in your life

Being moody is one of the main distinguishing features of an unhappy person.  All his thoughts are full of sadness, negativity, and anger. In other people, he notices only flaws and doesn't want to change his opinion just because it may change the flow of life.

The neighbor children are just children and hence have the right to play noisy games, the boss and colleagues have the right to healthy criticism, and even the spouse isn't that bad just due to the fact that he or she still tolerates the long spurts of gloominess. We all have someone to hug and to laugh with, take advantage of this.

DenysKuvaiev /

11. Expectation of clarity and approval

Nobody can know for sure what will happen to them in the future. From time to time we all get bewildered. An unhappy person stops, and a happy one moves on as he knows that there is nothing like pure clarity and it's possible to get out of confusion if he takes a few steps forward. The same is true about approval.

You can wait for it for years and not get it, or you can focus on what really matters to you and move in that direction. You are good enough, and other people's opinions won't make a difference.

12. Searching for a safe place.

It's essential to realize that you can't be in your comfort zone all your life, even if it is an ephemeral one where an unhappy person dwells. One of our best abilities is adapting. What seems unacceptable today will become normal tomorrow and may even bring up the question of how it was possible to live without it.

13. Running away from the problem.

Problems are not obstacles in the way that you can jump over. Each of them requires a solution, but not always an immediate one. Sometimes, it's worth not ignoring the situation but letting it be in your life and seeing how things will develop. It often happens so that a controversial matter becomes a tool for achieving your goal.

14. Excessive perfectionism

No matter how strange it may seem, striving for perfection sometimes makes people unhappy. Demands that are too high on oneself affect self-esteem and those that are too high from others affect the relationship with them. When this aspiration goes too far, it harms your emotional health. Ideal people or things don't exist, they become such due to our attitude to them.

Happiness isn't something that waits for you in the future. It is what you already have and your desire to increase it. The only thing that can hinder it is your negative way of thinking together with the accumulation of thoughts like envy and jealousy. Our quality of life depends on our habits and we are the only ones who can improve them.

READ ALSO: Mark Harmon And Pam Dawber's 30 Years Of Happiness

The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.