PSYCHOLOGY

Why Are Men Having A Hard Time With Women? Psychologists Shared The Firsthand Answers

Date June 18, 2018

Many people think that all men need is a timely fulfillment of marital duties and a delicious dinner. But this is not quite so. The majority of men are much more complicated than we’d come to think. Sometimes, they have a hard time, too, for their own reasons.

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Psychologists surveyed men with questions like “What is the most difficult in communicating with your wife?” and “In what ways would you like your wife to change?”. We present the most common responses.

1. It is difficult for men to guess a woman’s mood and know what she wants at a given time. It would be easier if they express their preferences directly, not with hints or manipulations.

2. It is hard to be your own wife’s shrink and “resolve” her issues. I am tired of hearing her say “I am fat!” or “I am ugly!” and convince her she’s not. There was a time when I used to sincerely tell my wife that she was beautiful, and now it seems that she forces me into saying it.

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3. Her tantrums have become so hard to take. After throwing a dramatic scene, my wife snaps back right away, and I need much more time to recover.

4. I can’t stand it when my wife twists my words to make them into something else. Whatever I say, she makes it sound like I don’t love her anymore and got tired of her. And I’m always on the defensive trying to explain that’s not what I meant. Why doesn’t she ask for clarification, if something’s not clear instead of making things up?

5. My wife doesn’t believe I love her. She always makes me prove it somehow. I would appreciate it if she could finally realize that since I married her and I am still living with her, I do have feelings for her. If I didn’t, I would have left long ago.

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6. My problem is that my wife is jealous of my friends and my hobby. I would be so relieved if she stopped making scenes, and got back in touch with her friends instead, took up yoga or something.

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7. My wife gets her feelings hurt when I want to be quiet and alone for a while. I would like her not to get upset with me, and at the same time, not to bother me with questions when I am like that.

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8. It annoys me that my wife can always find something to criticize me for, but hardly ever praises me. She doesn’t see everything I do for her and for the family, but I make a mistake once – and there goes a long argument. I would like her not to take for granted everything I do. It would feel nice to be appreciated, and she could be more forgiving.

9.  I don’t want my wife to punish me by withholding sex. I get angry when she tries to manipulate me by denying me sex. I think the bedroom is no place for solving any issues. I resent that she is using sex to pressure me.

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10. I don’t like it when she is criticizing my parents and siblings. They are no saints, there is no way to changing them, but they are still my family. I don’t want her to throw dirt on them.

11. It is absolutely unbearable when she gives me the silent treatment. I would rather hear what’s wrong, discuss it and patch up. Instead, I have to see her sullen face for days, not knowing what it was that I did.

12. I hate when she doesn’t trust me, tries to control me, gets jealous. I hate when she goes through my social media accounts, the browser history on our PC, looks for something in my phone. It is totally uncalled for, as we’re good and I haven’t given her any reason to suspect me of anything of that kind. I would like her to trust me.

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Well, what can you say… Of course, we, girls, are no angels, but if a man heart-to-heart can convey the idea of what he really wants from his partner, most women, who value their family, would try to change something in their behavior.

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Be open with each other, don’t shy away from difficult issues in the relationship, try to listen and hear each other. Don’t keep problems to yourselves and accumulate misunderstanding. Two people who love each other can always find a way. Love and be loved!

Source: Elina Rosina, an applied psychologist, Gestalt therapist, family counselor

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The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist