Woman Confessed: "I Love My Husband More Than My Children." What Are Psychologists' Take On This?

Date March 26, 2019

One of the criteria of a good mother is considered to be unlimited and unconditional love for her children. A woman is expected to be consumed by it 24 hours a day, dedicating herself fully to her kids, forgetting about herself and her husband. And it doesn't even matter how many children there are in the family, be it one or five.

Woman Confessed: "I Love My Husband More Than My Children." What Are Psychologists' Take On This?Olena Yakobchuk /

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But isn't it the cause of people becoming selfish? Maybe a woman should sort out her priorities and put herself first? Or her husband? A revelation of an Israeli-American writer, mother-of-four Ayelet Waldman, whose novels often address the topic of motherhood, gives you food for thought.

In one of her articles, Ayelet boldly wrote that she loves her husband – who is, by the way, also a writer, Michael Chabon – much more than her children. More precisely, she is as in love with her husband as in the first years of their relationship and he is the center of her universe.

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The kids, however, are not deprived of either of the parents' attention in any way. They are all well-cared for and given time. Ayelet even quit her job in order to pay more attention to her two sons and two daughters. Everyone is happy and content. Yet, she puts her husband first.

Is this normal? Yes, the answer is affirmative. Family relationship experts can see a series of positive aspects here:

  1. The atmosphere of love and kindness prevails in the family.
  2. Children can see a healthy relationship between their parents, which sets an example for starting their own families in the future.
  3. It decreases the chances of divorce, which means children will always have a full and stable family.
  4. When children grow up and leave the parental home, it will be just as easy and pleasant for the spouses to live together as their relationship has been balanced all along.

How are priorities set in your family? Who comes first: the husband, you, or your kids? Please, share your thoughts.

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The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.