PSYCHOLOGY

“He Breathes But He Is Not Alive”: Mom Told How She Put Her Seriously Ill Child Into A Residential Facility

Date July 4, 2019 11:20

All parents want their kids to be healthy, happy, and successful. But some families face serious trials of fate when a baby is born with various defects of physical or mental development. Although many parents reject such children, the majority still take them in and care for them.

“He Breathes But He Is Not Alive”: Mom Told How She Put Her Seriously Ill Child Into A Residential FacilityOlesia Bilkei / Shutterstock.com

Just some of the difficulties these parents may face include constant doctors’ consultations, monitoring medicine intake, ensuring a proper level of hygiene, preparing special food, and in some cases – proper maintenance of life-support equipment.

“He Breathes But He Is Not Alive”: Mom Told How She Put Her Seriously Ill Child Into A Residential FacilityJaren Jai Wicklund / Shutterstock.com

But there is always an alternative. If parents want the child to stay at home and are able to afford it, they can hire a medical worker.

“He Breathes But He Is Not Alive”: Mom Told How She Put Her Seriously Ill Child Into A Residential FacilityGoldsithney / Shutterstock.com

What are other ways to cope?

  1. The so-called shared care, in which the child spends equal periods of time (for example, 1 to 3 months) at home and in a specialized residential unit or boarding school.
  2. Adoption. There are many families willing to accept and raise children with various disabilities or diseases as their own.
  3. Residential care as a permanent residence of the child. This is an option for those whose children have severe conditions or are unresponsive.

“He Breathes But He Is Not Alive”: Mom Told How She Put Her Seriously Ill Child Into A Residential FacilityGoldsithney / Shutterstock.com

A decision to put your child into a residential facility is not easy to make, particularly if the parents have cared for the child for years. But sometimes this is the only way, as in the case of one mother. Her child was born with a rare genetic anomaly: he has never cried or spoken, never walked, never shown any signs of development, and never responded to noise, touch, or pain.

“He Breathes But He Is Not Alive”: Mom Told How She Put Her Seriously Ill Child Into A Residential Facilityнедовольная женщинаEakachai Leesin / Shutterstock.com

There is also the eldest son, who was left to his own devices at the age of 5: all the mother and father’s efforts and attention went to the care and treatment of his younger brother, who had been like that since birth. The boy is 7 and his widowed mother finally decided to put him in residential care. And she is not sorry for it.

He breathes but he is not alive. He doesn't know who I am. He doesn't know who Older Son is. He has no sense of self, life experience, or awareness of his surroundings.

I feel the way I feel because this...... thing..... takes up 200% of my time and does NOTHING.

Our older son has suffered because his non existent brother has colored everything in his life.

I didn't get an imperfect child. I didn't get a child.

And so he's leaving our home on the 29th. I feel excited and relieved and then guilty because I know we'll be happier with him gone.

“He Breathes But He Is Not Alive”: Mom Told How She Put Her Seriously Ill Child Into A Residential FacilityGoldsithney / Shutterstock.com

How did other users react?

Card

Card

Card

“He Breathes But He Is Not Alive”: Mom Told How She Put Her Seriously Ill Child Into A Residential FacilityGoldsithney / Shutterstock.com

Card

Card

“He Breathes But He Is Not Alive”: Mom Told How She Put Her Seriously Ill Child Into A Residential FacilityGoldsithney / Shutterstock.com

Many parents in such situations are riddled with guilt. But putting a son into a residential facility and visiting sometimes is probably better than growing to hate him. What are your thoughts?