PSYCHOLOGY

Common-Law Marriage: A Serious Relationship Or Is He Using You To Marry Someone Else Later?

Date May 30, 2019 16:40

Common-law marriage defies traditional family values and that’s why it has many opponents. This social phenomenon has managed to become a reality for many couples but was never approved by the church and the state or psychologists.

In the end, if you live with no obligations to each other or in an open relationship, you can only blame yourself.

It is clear why the state with its mind set on protecting traditional values condemns such unions.

And this makes the opinion of expert psychologists the more significant. After all, when people have personal problems, most of them don’t go to moms and dads, friends, the church or social services, but tend to turn to the internet seeking advice on what to do in a certain situation.

Why do young people increasingly gravitate towards cohabitation as opposed to legal marriage?

The main flaw in the modern institution of marriage is its fragility. A young couple can get married just as easily as they can file for divorce. Any time, just like that.

Common-Law Marriage: A Serious Relationship Or Is He Using You To Marry Someone Else Later?LightField Studios / Shutterstock.com

Buying own place to live in and throwing a fabulous celebration are pretty heavy on the family budget. Many love birds often have to choose between having a beautiful wedding, buying a house, or going on a honeymoon trip.

And what if there is a baby on the way? It’s just easier to cut these less necessary expenses.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Публикация от Cara Ferro (@caralindsay)

These are benefits. But there is also the flip side

A desire to get to know each other before joining lives in legal marriage can result in a complete failure. And this is the point we would like to discuss in more detail.

Common-Law Marriage: A Serious Relationship Or Is He Using You To Marry Someone Else Later?Marjan Apostolovic / Shutterstock.com

Many psychologists agree that by doing away with the institution of marriage people find themselves at a dead end where neither partner feels equal.

Every choice becomes a stumbling block. From curtains in the living room to the place of residence and vacation – every question puts the partners at odds, which can be quite exhausting in the long run. After all, you don’t owe anything to each other.

Values ​​change. With the concept of matrimony substituted with self-invented justifications, cohabitants may eventually feel reluctant to follow other norms of morality and religion in relation to each other's families or planning for the future. Even the attitude to the whole idea of living together may fluctuate from interested to indifferent.

Common-Law Marriage: A Serious Relationship Or Is He Using You To Marry Someone Else Later?Worried young man is consoling his girlfriendOlena Yakobchuk / Shutterstock.com

Relieved from all responsibility, a man in such a relationship is driven by inertia. For a male, this arrangement is equivalent to being free. There is no head of the family and a woman will never be able to learn whether he plans his future with her or they are just 2 people who happen to be together for some part their lives. If there is a child or children, then their upbringing and support depend on the man’s decency.

As it turned out, the ability to break up and then get back together willy-nilly setting a safe distance that allows one to keep looking for a “more special” one, spoils people.

The boundaries of morality blur, a person doesn’t want to develop, doesn’t need to save up money for anything or build plans for the future, and the immature union floats like a chip on the waves of the ocean of life.

Common-Law Marriage: A Serious Relationship Or Is He Using You To Marry Someone Else Later?fizkes / Shutterstock.com

The prospect of being free appeals to many people, but an uncommitted relationship won’t hold when life starts dictating own terms. A woman who has settled for a common-law marriage lets her man know that she has nothing more to offer. So there may never be a ring.

And what do you think, is common-law marriage freedom or a time-bomb?


The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.