PSYCHOLOGY

I Cheated On My Wife. What Should I Do Now?

Date May 31, 2019 13:47

When two people join their lives in marriage, they swear an oath before each other. Among other things, each promises to be faithful. Some people easily avoid temptations, while for others it may be a real struggle. How many thousands of relationships fall apart because of a minute’s weakness?

I Cheated On My Wife. What Should I Do Now?By Rawpixel.com / Shutterstock.com

According to statistics, men cheat on their wives a little more often than the other way around. This is probably why an entry like “I cheated on my wife. Now, what?” is so frequently searched.

So, what are the next steps for a man in this situation?

He needs to make up his mind on his feelings for his wife

I Cheated On My Wife. What Should I Do Now?Poznyakov / Shutterstock.com

A man often cheats when the current relationship has run its course. In this case, of course, it is better to come to a mutual decision to part. But first – a divorce, and then – affairs. It would be an honest thing to do.

If the man still has feelings for his wife, then there are generally only two ways out: to confess or keep it a secret till the last.

I Cheated On My Wife. What Should I Do Now?undrey / Depositphotos.com

When should the man come clean?

No matter how hard it may be, it’s worth it to confess everything to your spouse if:

  • you are sure that the truth will sooner or later be discovered;
  • you don’t want to have secrets in your relationship;
  • you value trust above all else and think that the wife should know that you’ve made a mistake.

When is it better to keep it a secret?

I Cheated On My Wife. What Should I Do Now?-YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV / Shutterstock.com

It’s probably better to keep mum if:

  • you are not sure that the wife will be able to forgive you, but you’ve decided that she is very dear to you;
  • the children will find out sooner or later;
  • you've made a decision that it was a moment’s weakness and it won’t ever happen again.

A cheater asked a similar question to Quora users. But the answers were rather harsh and categorical.

I Cheated On My Wife. What Should I Do Now?nathings / Shutterstock.com

@Phil Boettge:

If I were your friend, our friendship would be over too. Trust is the very foundation of any healthy relationship. If you would lie to your most intimate partner for a notch on your belt, you would lie to anyone about anything. Even your friendships now have no basis for trusting you.

@Valerie Hulley:

Grow up, take responsibility and stop looking for an easy way out.

@Tim Hinds:

You knew this was a possibility when you cheated on her. You took the risk anyway, this means you don't value your marriage above your own impulses.

And what advice would you give to a man who cheated on his wife? To come clean or to keep it a secret?


The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.