5 Signs That You Lacked Parental Love As A Child
June 4, 2019 18:20 By Fabiosa
“Washed, dressed, fed – what more do you need?” Probably all of us have heard a phrase like this at least once in their lives. Parents set themselves a lot of tasks that they think can help provide children with a “normal” life. However, wealth isn’t all that kids need. They require care, affection, love, understanding, and support. The absence of these vital things can be compared with emotional neglect: excessive demands, unwillingness to spend time on communication, ignoring the need for attention. Parents of dictators, egoists, and perfectionists are usually to blame for this.
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Children who are deprived of this grow up insecure, mentally unstable, and unable to assess themselves and the world around them appropriately. So, how can you recognize that your parents didn’t provide you with enough love in childhood?
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1. Difficult relationships with the opposite sex
In adulthood, people build the same pattern of behavior that they used to see in childhood. Indifference, intolerance, and toxicity become the norm in the relationship with the opposite sex. Such people are inclined to strive for the partners with a similar character. Sometimes, they set overly high standards, trying to make sure they are worthy of love. This may manifest in connection with married partners or their continuous change.
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2. Lack of trust
The situation in the family directly influences the development of trust. If children are constantly criticized, ridiculed, and compared to others, they will eventually cease to reveal their emotions. The same happens with scandalous families. An adult who grew up in such an environment can’t trust others. These people are afraid they will be simply “trampled” over repeatedly, as in childhood.
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3. Low self-esteem
Panic is always unreasonable. That’s what distinguishes underloved children. By adulthood, they are usually convinced there is a certain line they will never step over. Such people work hard, but never become wealthy; start a family, but don’t find happiness, since they are often suppressed by partners. They may also face ignorance from their own children, which soon becomes the norm.
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4. Fear of rejection
People who were underloved in childhood and were often rejected in times they needed care and affection are afraid of becoming unnecessary. Such people try their best to please others, completely forgetting about themselves and being ready to sacrifice everything to get the slightest approval.
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5. Fear of making mistakes
Parents’ indifference and non-involvement harm children’s self-esteem greatly. Such kids don’t feel when others are proud of their success, but know exactly when they will be punished for the slightest mistake. Such people seem indecisive because it is difficult for them to make decisions, particularly those that may involve someone else. People who lacked love in childhood blame themselves for this and believe that they no longer have the right to make a mistake.
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People lose the ability to rejoice, believe, and hope after growing up in such an atmosphere. Their personalities aren’t formed completely; they are easily influenced, seeking to please everyone in exchange for love. But they can change their life for the better, at least not to repeat parental mistakes.
Each of us deserves love and happiness. If you believe in yourself, and others will see it for sure.
The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.