Stepdad Support: Is It Possible To Raise And Love Another Man’s Child?

December 21, 2018 15:54

There are a lot of families in which men raise children who are not biologically theirs. Most often, it happens when a woman with a child or children gets remarried. It takes a lot of courage from a man to assume the responsibility of a stepdad. After all, even if he loves a woman, he cannot always accept and love someone else's child, and he may not be willing to spend money on him or her. Yet, they have to learn to live together...

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Can a person come to love someone else's child?

In such marriages, questions related to raising a stepchild is one of the most frequently asked. Especially, when it comes to punishments, there is always the temptation to accuse the stepfather of prejudice. How to get around this problem?

We want to give some tips to the men who have committed to a woman with a child with an intention of creating a truly loving and friendly family.

1. Don’t push it

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Be patient and gradually build a trusting relationship with the child. Don’t rush things, especially at the initial stage.

2. Find things in common

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Finding common interests or a hobby will bring you two closer in the most natural way. But for this to work, both should be genuinely interested.

3. Be prepared for difficulties

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Most often, at first, the child will dislike you and will try to get to you, to annoy you on purpose. Control your feelings.

4. Punishment is the last resort

Even if the child does not obey you, refuses to do his or her duties around the house, or even worse – is being explicitly rude to you – then your task as an adult is to find a compromising solution to the problem. Don’t raise your hand to the child! It will destroy everything you have achieved so far and make it much harder to build any relations in the future.

5. Make the child “the center of the universe”

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You can argue that this is how you spoil a child. But the child should not feel abandoned in a new family. Raising a resentful kid is much worse than you can imagine.

Creating good and conflict-free family relationships is a difficult task at times, even for biological parents. Therefore, in the case of a stepchild, the relationship might take double the effort.

The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.