Unhappily Ever After: 5 Reasons Why We Marry Wrong People
January 21, 2019 10:02 By Fabiosa
When we get married, we think only about the most beautiful things. We dream of a perfect home, surrounded by three kids and cute pets. Unfortunately, in reality, many couples are disappointed in marriage and their dreams are shattered. Why does it happen?
Some people regret getting married too early; others wish they chose a different person. These mistakes happen all the time. We have prepared for you the most common reasons why this happens.
Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock.com
Why we choose the wrong people
1. We have problems understanding ourselves
English philosopher Alain de Botton says the problem is that we understand ourselves no more than other people. Therefore, it is impossible to find a perfect spouse.
2. We don’t want to be alone
Often, people over 30 marry only because they don’t want to be lonely. As a result, we eventually realize that haste and fear has caused us to choose people who aren't suited to us.
3. We are used to living in stress
On a subconscious level, women often fall in love with male tyrants, who eventually become their husbands. Such women aren’t accustomed to being happy and also don’t have the experience of healthy relationships. That is why they choose the “bad” guys.
Ruslan Nalimov / Shutterstock.com
4. We romanticize our relationship too much
We often listen to our heart while choosing a partner. When butterflies in the stomach disappear, we face reality. The partner begins to annoy us, and we think that we have chosen the wrong one.
fizkes / Shutterstock.com
Solutions to the problem
1. No people are perfect for each other
Alain de Botton believes we must realize that our partner will disappoint, anger, and annoy us. Moreover, we will do the same to them. However, this isn’t unusual or a reason for divorce. We are all different. You will never meet a person who will be exactly the one you dreamed of. Our task is to find the most compatible partner for us.
2. If there is no compatibility, love won’t help
If there is no compatibility, love won’t be enough to overcome adversity. Only when you find a new love, will you understand that you parted with your previous partner for a good reason.
fizkes / Shutterstock.com
Love is good, but you still have to look for compatibility. You and you partner should share the same goals and desires. Is your marriage the same? Can you think of any other reasons or solutions?
The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.