PSYCHOLOGY

10 Signs That Your Partner Is A Real Abuser And Manipulator

Date October 23, 2018 18:53

Most people mistakenly believe that the victims of abusive relationships are extremely weak people, completely devoid of self-esteem, who “willingly” take all the partner’s bullying. Some even believe that nobody is guilty in their problems but them!

That is why many women are sure that nothing similar can ever happen to them!

However, the violence can manifest itself in different ways, and beating isn’t always the worst scenario. Unlike physical, emotional violence can remain unnoticed for a long time.

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How to recognize an abuser in time? A relationship with such a partner is emotionally unbearable and destroys your personality.

Here are ten tips that should alert you about the man’s abusive behavior.

Psychologists have identified a number of signs warning a woman that her partner is prone to abusive behavior.

1. Vulnerability attracts abusers

Men who tend to be abusive are extremely attracted to vulnerable partners with a soft character. For example, very young girls or women who recently divorced or suffered other psychological traumas.

10 Signs That Your Partner Is A Real Abuser And ManipulatorAntonio Guillem / Shutterstock.com

An abuser enjoys feeling the unlimited power over a woman. Therefore, he is looking for a girlfriend who is ready to obey him.

2. Aggression towards the ex-partner

If a man tells you how unworthy of him his ex was, this is a very bad sign, especially if he claims that she falsely accused him of being abusive.

READ ALSO: More Intimate Than Sex: 5 Things That Will Strengthen Your Relationship

Unfortunately, most claims about violence are true!

3. Disrespect

Abuse is closely connected with the victim’s devaluation. Pay attention to how your partner communicates with you. If he allows himself to be sarcastic or rude, this is a clear sign of disrespect.

10 Signs That Your Partner Is A Real Abuser And ManipulatorSyda Productions / Shutterstock.com

However, there is another important point. Disrespect can also be expressed in the form of idealization. A man can literally consider you to be perfect! However, as soon as he realizes that you don’t meet his imaginary ideal, his attitude will change drastically.

4. Self-centered behavior

You should become suspicious if a man talks too much about himself. This is a clear sign of egocentrism. If a person is prone to abuse, this quality is often transformed into a deep conviction that they have the right to act as they want.

5. Total control and financial restrictions

No woman would ever blame the partner for planning the evening or weekend in advance. However, this is quite a disturbing sign! One day you will want to spend time differently and will immediately face his irritation.

Your partner will soon begin to insist on you spending all of your free time with him or demand to quit your “unworthy” working place. Then you suddenly realize that your opinion doesn't matter to him at all.

6. Fake generosity and imposed help

Abusers and manipulators always try to make the victim feel in their debt. If a woman refuses this man’s “help,” and he still does what he considers necessary, invading her personal space, this is a very bad sign.

7. Excessive jealousy

10 Signs That Your Partner Is A Real Abuser And ManipulatorAntonio Guillem / Shutterstock.com

This is another alert that may indicate your partner’s inclination to abuse. A man can annoy you with constant calls throughout the day or insist on everyday meetings without real reason.

READ ALSO: Her Husband Severed Both Her Hands With An Axe. Now, She Has Robotic Hands And Is Moving On

Unfortunately, the basis of this behavior isn’t love but a sense of possessiveness.

8. Forced sex

If a man completely ignores the desire of a woman not to rush things before intimacy and exerts undue pressure in this matter, this may indicate that he doesn’t consider her as a person but as an object to satisfy his needs.

This is often accompanied by physical violence.

9. Alcohol or drug addiction

Be especially careful if your partner suggests trying his alcohol or even drugs. Any addictions are frequent companions of abusiveness.

10. Aggression during arguments

10 Signs That Your Partner Is A Real Abuser And Manipulatorhome violenceDmytro Zinkevych / Shutterstock.com

Any intimidation is a sign of emotional abuse. At first, an abuser may threaten with words, punch the wall, swear or simply lock you up. It is high time to react quickly: either you leave him or else things are going to get physical.

In public, abusers tend to show off their “ideal” relationship, masking all the problems behind the smiles. However, their attitude changes drastically when you are left alone.

Remember, none of the signs mentioned above, except for physical aggression, gives a complete proof that your partner is an abuser. However, you still need to be careful and avoid being manipulated!

With the first signs of unacceptable behavior, explain to the man that you won’t allow him to behave in this way. Don’t hesitate to end the relationship if this repeats.

If this doesn’t help, think carefully about the possible consequences and take the right decision for yourself.

10 Signs That Your Partner Is A Real Abuser And Manipulator

Although love sometimes does require sacrifice, relationships must never be destructive! Share this important information with your friends to let them know about the possible danger.

READ ALSO: 10 Сlear Signs You Are Suffering Emotional Abuse


The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.