7 Important Things Parents Shouldn’t Do Instead Of Their Child
May 18, 2018 14:16 By Fabiosa
Naturally, all parents want all the best for their children. And because of this, we are often ready to do many things instead of our son or daughter. However, independence in decision-making and sense of responsibility should be cultivated from childhood!
Psychologists identify 7 things parents shouldn’t do instead of their children of school age. Or else, they may grow up to be passive, irresponsible, and indecisive.
1. Don’t do homework for your child
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If a child asks for your help, certainly, you should and must discuss, think or find a pattern. But a child should learn to solve problems, correct errors, draw or prepare presentations on the computer on his own. Why would anybody want to put any effort if mom is always there to help and correct?
2. Don’t force friends
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It is very convenient for parents to be friends with other families. While the adults are drinking tea in the kitchen, their children are playing in a room. Perfect picture! But what if your child is not interested in such friends? Or if your child simply doesn’t like them? Let your kids decide whom to be friends with!
3. Don’t interfere in conflicts between your child and other kids
When they see their child being wronged by peers, many parents do not hesitate to charge! However, try to restrain yourself. Your child is perfectly capable of solving little conflicts by self. And if your child isn’t, then teach him or her!
4. Don’t tidy up your child’s room for him or her
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Every person should have their own territory, and your children are no exception. Bluntly violating the privacy of your kid’s room and throwing away everything you find useless, you are belittling your child and cultivate laziness and indifference. Besides, are you really happy to be a servant? It is much easier to clean after the children than to teach them to keep the place clean and in order.
5. Don’t answer for your child
"How old are you, little boy?" — "We are already 12!"
Funny? In fact, some parents are so afraid that their child will say something wrong or forget something that they are ready to answer for it. How will this child become independent and responsible? Besides, psychologists say that this sort of behavior is, in fact, a disguised urge to control the child. And for how long are you planning to do that?
6. Don’t influence teachers for better marks
Parents’ main aim in raising schoolchildren is to teach them to achieve goals, they set for themselves. So let your children deal with their bad marks on their own and mend relationships with teachers if necessary. Otherwise, how will they understand the purpose of studying well? Let your child make own mistakes and correct them!
7. Don’t choose interests for your children
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Many mothers and fathers relive their childhood through their children, trying to achieve everything they didn’t.
"All my life I’ve been dreaming of becoming a ballet dancer. I will sign my daughter up for a dancing class!" Sounds familiar?
However, doing so you deny your child the right of self-identification. How can he understand what he truly likes, if everything is pre-decided? Don’t bury your child’s talent in order to satisfy own ambitions! Let your schoolchildren attend various classes and sections, and soon they will find what they like.
If you want your children to become responsible and independent people, try to follow these 7 important rules. And if you want to be actively involved in your kid’s life, remember: you need to do things TOGETHER, not INSTEAD!
The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.