Why You Should Part With Toxic People, Even If They Are Relatives

Date May 24, 2018 11:22

Since childhood, we’ve been taught that family is sacred. Birds of feather flock together, blood is thicker than water and the like. But what do you do when these people poison your life and drag you down? It is considered reprehensible to banish someone from your family, and it takes enormous courage to do so. Often, people come to this decision as a last resort after countless attempts to save this bond and fix everything. But then, in a moment, you understand that this is it.

Psychologists recommend to minimize such connections even for a short time. It may be the hardest decision of a lifetime, and with that – the most liberating.

Experts advise to pay attention to these 5 signs to identify a person who is poisoning your life.

Signs that a person is a threat to your psychological health

1. Judging

This person is always judging you without any constructive feedback. You can be constantly hearing something like: "You are doing everything wrong," "You can’t do it, or what?" or "What would you do without me?" This is how this person undermines your self-confidence.

2. Underestimating your achievements

This person hasn’t achieved anything, has low self-esteem, and thinks that the rest of the people don’t deserve anything either. This person focuses on your flaws and fails. This person believes that your achievements are nothing to be proud of. A toxic relative or friend thinks that all your efforts are in vain, whatever you do.

3. Manipulating

A toxic person always knows better how you should live and act. If you do something differently from his or her vision, they will use tears and manipulations. Typical phrases that you can hear: "Do you want the mother to have a heart attack?", "Why would you want to go to the sea? We have a country house!", "You always think about yourself only. And what about me?" This person guilt tricks you into making decisions and is constantly imposing his or her opinions.

4. Pointing fingers

This person will always have somebody to blame for his or her failures. In most cases, this somebody is you. "If I hadn’t given birth to you, your father and I would have been happy and living as we pleased," "Grandma spent all her time trying to raise you a decent person!", "If I hadn’t met you, I would have married a real man" and so on. Also, this person doesn’t admit to anything.

5. Kind treatment in front of other people

Often, this person treats you well in public. He or she surrounds you with attention and care. But, when nobody’s watching, you find yourself under an avalanche of reproaches and blames.

To get rid of toxic people, you need to correctly establish your relationship with them.

How to minimize damage of toxic people

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1. Communicate with toxic people only when needed and to the point. If the communication starts to wear you down, change the subject.

2. If your relatives are too intrusive, joke your way out.

- How much do you earn?

- A little less than Michael Jackson 15 years ago.

3. Meet in public. Your offender won’t be able to make a scene or start a fight. You may take one of your girl friends to a meeting with your ex-husband.

4. When replying to a toxic person, give short answers and never show that you’re hurting. Don’t downgrade yourself to their level, and don’t try to insult in return.

5. Learn to say "no." Don’t say “yes” only to please someone, learn to refuse.

You must do what’s right for you. Trust yourself! Say goodbye to people who are poisoning your life. If it is impossible, then make the communication formal and to the point, either with colleagues or relatives.

What would you do in this situation?

The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.