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PSYCHOLOGY

Word Spoken Is Past Recalling: How Not To Ruin Children's Confidence

Date January 24, 2020

Author By Cheryl Welsh

When talking to children, parents rarely think carefully what and how they say it. While even one wrong word may not only hurt a child's fragile self-esteem, it can also cause severe damage to his or her mental health.

Things you shouldn't say to a child under any circumstance

Word Spoken Is Past Recalling: How Not To Ruin Children's ConfidenceWord Spoken Is Past Recalling: How Not To Ruin Children's ConfidenceKamira / Shutterstock.com

Here are 5 common phrases that can cause insecurities and spoil a child's life completely. Mothers, fathers, grandmas, and grandpas! Please, remember to never use theese!

1. "You can't do anything!"

This phrase will make your child want to give up before even trying! Why would he or she put in the effort if it won't give any results? The realization that even their closest ones don't believe in them may break any child! This phrase is an absolute taboo!

2. "Why can't you just be normal, like other kids…"

Word Spoken Is Past Recalling: How Not To Ruin Children's ConfidenceWord Spoken Is Past Recalling: How Not To Ruin Children's Confidencemother-daughter relationships, family fightSpeedKingz / Shutterstock.com

Never compare your child to his or her siblings, peers, or anyone else for that matter. It may make the child turn inwards, start to doubt parents' love, and even start taking revenge on the ones you praise.

3. "But it's so easy!"

Word Spoken Is Past Recalling: How Not To Ruin Children's ConfidenceWord Spoken Is Past Recalling: How Not To Ruin Children's ConfidenceYuganov Konstantin / Shutterstock.com

By telling your child how easy it is to sew on a button or learn how to ride a bike, you are effectively letting your child know that you consider them unskilled. What do you think will happen with the kid's self-esteem? It's better to praise your son or daughter for a new achievement!

4. "Let me do it!"

Being overly caring is as harmful as the lack of parental attention. You should teach your child to be independent from an early age. Otherwise, children start thinking they're not capable of doing anything!

5. "You made a mistake again!"

Word Spoken Is Past Recalling: How Not To Ruin Children's ConfidenceGetty Images / Ideal Image

Even the kindest parents sometimes feel the urge to point out the kids' mistakes. But it's great that your child makes mistakes! Did he do something wrong? Well, it means he is doing something!

How do you increase your child's self-esteem?

Word Spoken Is Past Recalling: How Not To Ruin Children's ConfidenceWord Spoken Is Past Recalling: How Not To Ruin Children's Confidencewavebreakmedia / Shutterstock.com

If you've noticed that you tend to say these things to your child, make sure to put an immediate end to it. It's better to think about the ways to fix it! Here are a few useful tips:

  1. Make sure you praise your child for their every accomplishment, however small it may seem: not only for good marks but for pretty pictures they drew, too!
  2. Encourage their aspiration for expressing themselves. This is the only way to find their talent and develop it.
  3. Say phrases that will help the child believe in his or her power and abilities as often as possible. Here are some you can use: "We believe in you!" "You can totally do it!" "You can do anything!"

All parents want their children to be kind, smart, and skilled. And the best way to do it is to praise them for the results of their work rather than knock them down for their mistakes. Let your child grow to be a happy, balanced, and independent person! And please pay attention to the abovementioned phrases that can ruin children's self-esteem. Try to become your kid's best friend!

The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.

Psychology