How To Recognize A Toxic Relationship: 8 Tell-Tale Signs To Pay Attention To

Date February 7, 2018

It’s not always easy to realize you’re in a toxic relationship. Sometimes, you hold on to it simply because it has lasted for ages and you’ve gotten used to things being the way they are. But if the relationship takes away from your emotional well-being, and you don’t feel appreciated and respected, maybe it’s time to part ways.

There are tell-tale signs that indicate a relationship is destructive. And in some cases, it’s not your or the other person’s fault – it’s just the irreconcilable differences that exist between the two of you. But when the other person doesn’t see what’s wrong even if you point it out repeatedly and stubbornly refuses to make any changes, you’re better off without that person.

READ ALSO: Key Formula To A Successful Relationship According To Experts

Here are 12 signs that the relationship is toxic (these are mainly about romantic relationships, but they also apply to relatives, friends, and coworkers):

1. You can’t speak your mind when you’re with them.

If you can’t say what’s really on your mind to your partner, friend, or close family member, because they are dismissive of your thoughts and opinions or always criticize them, something is off in this relationship.

2. They’re always mocking you in a mean way.

Teasing someone is OK as long as it’s not mean or hurtful. If your partner or  friend makes hurtful comments about your appearance, interests, or tastes, especially if they say these things in front of other people and embarrass you, you don’t have to put up with the mockery.

3. You feel drained after spending time with them.

In a fulfilling relationship, you are always looking forward to spending time with the person. If they make the relationship all about themselves and your interests and feelings aren’t taken into account, communication with such people can be exhausting.

READ ALSO: Inadvertent Behaviors That Might Lead To Emotional Detachment In A Marriage And Ways To Fix Them

4. You often feel nostalgic about your past with them.

If you often find yourself missing the “good old days” with the person, but the current “state of the union” doesn’t seem so satisfying, it’s time for a serious talk. If the person is not willing to take steps to make the relationship work again, and you are the only one trying to fix it, the relationship may not be worth your attempts to save it.

5. They aren’t genuinely happy about good things that happen to you.

If, say, you were finally promoted after months of hard work, or finally reached your target weight, and your friend or your partner doesn’t react to the news in any way or even gets jealous, this is one of the red flags.

6. They are always lying to you.

Sometimes, people lie to protect their loved ones. For example, if your partner gets a pink slip and doesn’t tell you about his or her termination until he or she finds a new job, the purpose of such lie is likely to protect you from worrying about your financial situation as a couple. But if your partner becomes evasive, never tells you about his or her whereabouts, and makes up excuses to explain his or her coming home late from work, you may be in for an unpleasant surprise.

7. You can’t talk about important things with them.

If your partner stonewalls you when you’re trying to talk about your future together and about serious plans, such as getting married, having a baby or buying a house, it’s quite possible that he or she is not ready for commitment. It doesn’t mean you have to end this relationship, but if an honest talk about serious stuff doesn’t happen, it’s a sign of trouble.

8. You can’t be yourself with them.

If you can’t express your opinions, show your emotions, or talk about your interests with your partner or friend, and you’ve made some concessions to make the relationship work but the other person hasn't, it’s time to reconsider whether you need this relationship at all. Give-and-take is part of any healthy relationship, and if you have had to give up a lot to be with that person but get nothing in return, is there a point into go on like this?

Source: Health, Psychology Today,

READ ALSO: 6 Tips To Spot True Narcissists And Avoid Getting Hurt By Them

This article is purely for informational purposes. Do not self-medicate, and in all cases consult a certified healthcare professional before using any information presented in the article. The editorial board does not guarantee any results and does not bear any responsibility for harm that may result from using the information stated in the article.