5 Things That Happen When Parents Yell At Children
February 28, 2018 16:57 By Fabiosa
We often resort to yelling when we are trying to discipline our children, and that happens more often than we’d like to admit. Yelling may seem harmless compared to getting physical, but it’s an ineffective way to correct your child’s behavior. Instead, yelling at your children tends to create even more behavior problems and leads to other negative consequences in the long run.
What’s more, parents often feel terrible about themselves after they’ve blown a fuse, especially if they realize that their furious reaction was disproportionate to the behavior that provoked that reaction in the first place.
What does yelling do to your children and your relationship with them? Here is what happens when you yell at children and reasons why yelling is counterproductive.
1. Yelling doesn’t help to get your message across.
If you raise your voice when your children do something wrong (or don’t do what’s expected), it’s hard for them to process what you’re saying – they only hear the yelling. Shouting may help you get your children to do what you want them to do, but the motivation here is wrong. Your children will act how you tell them to because they want the yelling to stop, not because they realize that what they were doing before is wrong.
2. Yelling may correct undesired behaviors, but only for a short time.
Your children may do as told right after you’ve yelled at them, but it’s highly unlikely that they will continue doing so without your yelling. It creates a vicious cycle of yelling and misbehavior. Your children will eventually become desensitized to yelling if that is how you communicate all the time and will simply tune out when you raise your voice.
3. A child who’s often yelled at will grow up into an adult who yells.
Children learn by example, and parents or other caregivers are their primary role models. If yelling is your way to communicate with them instead of talking calmly to resolve a conflict, your children will become adults who yell at their spouses, kids, or coworkers, when something doesn’t go their way.
4. Yelling fosters fear
Do you remember your own parents screaming at you? How did it make you feel? You probably felt afraid of them, and that's how your children feel when you let them have it. Yelling doesn’t make your children respect you more, or listen to you more attentively – it only makes them feel afraid of your next angry outburst.
5. Constant yelling leads to a lack of trust.
If you yell at your children for their slightest mistakes and misbehaviors, they will seek advice from their peers and not from you as they get older. If you want your children to trust you enough to honestly tell you about their bad grades, relationship troubles, or other problems, you need to learn to talk to them in a calm manner.
Yelling offers only a short-term solution for behavior issues, but it leads to more problems in your relationship with children down the road. Having a calm conversation with your kids about what they are doing wrong without any shouting and insults is much more effective. And don’t forget to remind your children that you still love them, even if you sometimes disapprove of their behaviors.
This article is purely for informational purposes. Do not self-medicate, and in all cases consult a certified healthcare professional before using any information presented in the article. The editorial board does not guarantee any results and does not bear any responsibility for harm that may result from using the information stated in the article.