Is Money An Issue In Your Relationship? 5 Tips To Stop Fighting Over Money And Reach A Compromize
February 20, 2018 17:03 By Fabiosa
Money issues are one of the top reasons why couples fight. Unfortunately, in many cases, these issues remain unresolved and eventually lead to a divorce or a break-up. Without an open and honest talk about your financial situation as a couple and other points of contention, you'll be stuck in the same old story, constantly fighting with your partner and growing resentful.
But there are ways to come to terms with each other regarding finances and gain a better understanding of your partner’s idea of your shared budget.
Here are 5 tips that can help you cease fighting over money:
1. Plan your budget together.
If one partner manages most of major financial decisions and the other partner is kept in the dark, if often leads to misunderstandings. You should set a time (each month or each week) when you sit down and calmly discuss all things financial: plans for big purchases, savings, everyday spendings, etc. Voice your concerns if you have any, but not in a way that makes it seem like your partner is in the wrong.
2. Understand why your partner has this particular attitude towards money.
Your financial behavior starts to develop in childhood and is largely influenced by your parents' ideas about money. Understand that your partner has a different upbringing and attitude towards money, and if it doesn't coincide with yours, it doesn't mean it's wrong.
3. Stop the blame game.
Many people bring up their partners' past mistakes (e.g. emotional purchases) during fights, even if they were discussed many times before and seemed to be resolved. Instead of talking about old grievances, discuss your financial plans for the future and the steps you need to take to achieve your financial goals, such as saving up more money.
4. Share control of the finances.
It doesn't matter who is the bigger earner in a couple because the other one usually contributes to the relationship in ways other than financial. Every major financial decision has to be reached together. And each partner has to have their own responsibilities regarding finances (e.g. he makes mortgage payments, she buys groceries - you can occasionally swap the roles for a change). And each partner should have a certain amount of money to spend on his or her personal needs.
5. Keep track of your spendings.
To prevent from falling into a debt hole or spending more than you had planned, take time to sit down and do the math together with your partner. Calculate how much money you're planning to spend in each category (groceries, clothes, bills, etc.) and how much money you need to set aside for your long-term goals (e.g. buying a house and paying for your child's education) and stick to the plan you created together.