LIFESTYLE & COMMUNITY

6 Tips To Spot True Narcissists And Avoid Getting Hurt By Them

Date January 9, 2018

You’ve probably heard about the origin of the word “narcissism.” For those who don’t know, the word derives from the name of a character from Greek mythology, a hunter named Narcissus. He was as vain as a person can be and treated others with disregard. So the gods made him notice his own reflection in a pond. He was so mesmerized by his own beauty that he stared at the reflection for days on end until he died. This ancient myth gave rise to the term “narcissism” which is used in modern-day psychology.

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You’ve likely encountered a narcissist or a few of them in your life. But narcissism isn’t always immediately recognizable. In fact, narcissistic people usually appear charming when you first meet them. But as you get to know them better, they begin to show their true colors.

Here are some clues that give narcissists away:

1. They go on and on about how great they are.

Narcissists truly believe they are better than others in every aspect you can think of. They like to talk about their skills, appearance, romantic conquests, and powerful connections in an exaggerated manner.

2. They are preoccupied with their appearance.

They make a positive first impression in part because they take very good care of their looks. Taking care of your appearance is not a bad thing, unless it reaches a point of obsession, as it is the case with narcissists.

3. They don’t want to hear about your feelings or problems.

If you try to talk to them about your feelings, they may appear to listen, but they will show no interest or empathy. If you try to share something positive, such as your career achievements, they won’t be happy for you, they will be jealous. Don’t bother trying to talk to them about your problems; to narcissists, other people’s problems don’t matter.

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4. They take any criticism as an insult.

Narcissists tend to perceive themselves as perfect and infallible. And if you try to “impinge” on that image with any form of criticism, even constructive (such as pointing out something wrong in their work), prepare for a sharp response.

5. They can’t maintain a healthy relationship.

Any healthy relationship, either friendship or romance, is a two-way street. What a narcissist wants from you is relentless praise and admiration, but you won’t get anything in return. Don’t expect such person to be emotionally responsive and to pay attention to your own needs. If narcissists don’t get what they want from you, they distance themselves at first, trying to make you crave communication with them, and if that doesn’t happen, they cut you off completely. If you do give them what they want, they will get bored after some time and find a new friend or partner, because they are always in quest of “something better.”

6. Just as they are conceited, they can also be insecure.

A narcissist can start to get depressed when he or she doesn’t get his dose of obsequious admiration. And the realization that someone in their company is objectively superior to them can hurt them deeply. Narcissists disparage such people and those who dare to doubt their uniqueness. They usually don’t mind being called jerks; what does get to them is the lack of interest and attention from others and hearing how someone is better than them.

Source: Reader's Digest, Psychology Today, HelpGuide

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This article is purely for informational purposes. Do not self-medicate, and in all cases consult a certified healthcare professional before using any information presented in the article. The editorial board does not guarantee any results and does not bear any responsibility for harm that may result from using the information stated in the article.

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