'One Minute He Was Lying Next To Me And The Next, He Was Gone!' Parents Recount Story Of Losing Their 'Rainbow' Baby

Date March 22, 2018 16:28

This woman struggled with fertility issues for years. Eventually, she had a baby boy, but she lost him to SID.

The heartbreaking story

Jessie Berbe and Nolan Miller, from Nova Scotia, tried to have a baby for four years before falling pregnant. The couple welcomed their baby Noah Watson Miller on the 31st of May, 2017.

In a blog post which was shared on LoveWhatMatters, Jessie opened up about losing her son at just eight months old. She said:

I remember the first time looking at him and thinking he’s our son. I could hardly believe we finally had our rainbow baby.

She revealed that Noah appeared to be completely healthy after he was born.

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Everything was fine until he started coughing at 7-and-a-half months, which we got checked three days in a row until the doctors took us seriously.

Noah’s health improved, and he seemed to be recovering until his mother discovered one evening that he was struggling to breathe.

I had him laying next to me on the couch. I looked over, and he was sound asleep a few minutes before. Normally, I constantly look over, and that is when I saw him pale and staring at the ceiling blankly. I grabbed him, and there was no reaction from him.

The child was rushed to hospital with a faint heartbeat, where he was put on life support. Baby Noah’s parents were given the devastating news that he was brain dead, and his life support machine was switched off a day later.

What is SIDS?

Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is the unexplained death, usually during sleep, of a seemingly healthy baby less than a year old. SIDS is sometimes known as crib death because the infants often die in their cribs.

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Although the cause is unknown, it appears that SIDS might be associated with defects in the portion of an infant's brain that controls breathing and arousal from sleep. Most SIDS deaths happen in babies 2 to 4 months old, and cases rise during cold weather.

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Other possible risks include:

  • smoking, drinking, or drug use during pregnancy and after birth;
  • inadequate prenatal care;
  • prematurity or low birth weight;
  • a family history of SIDS;
  • mothers younger than 20;
  • being around tobacco smoke after birth.


There's no guaranteed way to prevent SIDS, but you can help your baby sleep more safely by following these tips:

1. Back to sleep

Place your baby to sleep on his or her back, rather than on the stomach or side, every time you — or anyone else — put the baby to sleep for the first year of life.

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2. Keep the crib as bare as possible

Use a firm mattress and avoid placing your baby on thick, fluffy padding, such as lambskin or a thick quilt. Don't leave pillows, fluffy toys, or stuffed animals in the crib. These can interfere with breathing if your baby's face presses against them.

3. Don't overheat your baby

To keep your baby warm, try a sleep sack or other sleep clothing that doesn't require additional covers. Don't cover your baby's head.

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4. Have your baby sleep in your room

Ideally, your baby should sleep in your room with you, but alone in a crib, bassinet, or other structure designed for infants, for at least six months and, if possible, up to a year.

5. Adult beds aren't safe for infants

A baby can become trapped and suffocate between the headboard slats, the space between the mattress and the bed frame, or the space between the mattress and the wall.

6. Breastfeed your baby, if possible

Breastfeeding for at least six months lowers the risk of SIDS.

7. Offer a pacifier

Sucking on a pacifier without a strap or string at naptime and bedtime might reduce the risk of SIDS.


After losing a baby to SIDS, getting emotional support is critical. You might feel guilt as well as grief, and you'll be dealing with the mandatory police investigation into the cause of death.

You might find it comforting to talk to other parents whose lives have been touched by SIDS. Ask your doctor to recommend a support group in your area or visit an online SIDS chat room. Talking to a trusted friend, counselor, or clergy member can also help.

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